Human nature being what it is, we avoid feelings of hurt and pain at all costs. Infidelity crosses all socio-economic, racial, cultural and religious lines. It happens not only in bad marriages, but believe it or not, it happens in relatively good marriages too. (I know that sounds ridiculous but it is true). That being said, we would be foolish to ignore the telltale signs of infidelity. Following are a list of 5 signs that may suggest your spouse or partner is cheating on you.
1. Emotional Unavailability – in other words, your spouse no longer shares their intimate thoughts and feeling with you. Your relationship has turned more into a “roommate” situation where you share the same living space with each other but you no longer share intimate exchanges of any kind (not just sexual).
2. PASSWORD protection on ALL electronic accounts. Your partner refuses to allow you to see anything they do on-line, including their fb, tweets, etc and they freak out if you go anywhere near their iPhone or BlackBerry. This is a major red flag they might be engaged in inappropriate activity with someone of the opposite sex. This “someone” may be an ex-sweetheart, or someone new they met on-line. Of course, password protected accounts doesn’t guarantee your partner is cheating on you – but it certainly makes you wonder what they might be up to.
3. UNUSUAL WORK SCHEDULE – all of a sudden your partner has to work unusually late hours – constantly. Or they tell you meetings are scheduled for Friday evenings. They travel out of town on business leaving early Sunday morning because they have to “get ready for a Monday morning meeting”. Or sometimes a cheating partner begins returning home from business trips on Sunday evening instead of Friday night with the excuse they had to entertain clients on the weekend.
4. Sudden Weight Loss and an exaggerated concern over their Physical Appearance – from a guy who use to spend his weekends unshaven and in sweat pants. All of a sudden he loses weight and begins counting calories – no more beer and chips for Mr. Buff – even though you tried for years to get him to exercise and eat healthy.
5. Excessive need for privacy. Your partner goes into a different room when speaking on the phone or they refuse to let you see what they are doing on the computer. When you inquire as to who they are on the phone with they often reply: “Oh, just work” or some other vague response – even on the weekends and during vacation.
Of course none of the above warning signs mean for certain that your partner is having an affair; however they certainly suggest your relationship is not at a good place. Speak with your partner about these observations and see if you can get some clarification of their behavior. Finally, let your partner know these behaviors make you feel uncomfortable and ask them if they could discontinue them.
Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,
Dr. Patty Ann
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