Women know true success is found within our relationships – not money. The way we communicate with ourselves and with others ultimately determines the overall quality of our life – and the success or lack thereof – of everything we do!
Creating and nurturing a true partnership with your partner is predicated upon effective communication skills. Below are the 3 most effective communication skills necessary for creating a life you love, a business that makes money and a spouse who supports you.
- Verbal Communication. Many people fall into the trap of assuming their partner knows and understands the goals they have for their career and/or business. They fail to communicate to their spouse the positive way their business will impact the quality of their life together, from a financial, social and emotional perspective. Assuming and NOT communicating is practically guaranteed to backfire on you. We cannot ever assume our partner (or anyone for that matter) knows anything. Period. We must effectively communicate with our partner – with words – things we want them to know. However, it is not just an exchange of words that defines effective communication. Effective communication is a two-way street between partners; it requires an exchange of feelings, thoughts and beliefs between you and your partner.
Another important aspect of verbal communication is the choice of words we use to get our message across. The more emotionally loaded a topic of conversation is – the more imperative it is to choose your words carefully and sensitively. Just because you are in an intimate relationship with someone doesn’t mean you can throw diplomacy out the window – or just blurt out your thoughts and feelings with total disregard for your partner’s feelings. Now is a good time to remember my strong belief that you can say just about anything to anybody – IF you know how to say it- by choosing to have your conversation at the appropriate time using carefully sensitive words.
- Non-Verbal Communication. Approximately 80% of all communication takes place non-verbally. The most important type of non-verbal communication is body language. For effective communication to take place, it is important your body language, and all other forms of non-verbal communication is consistent with your verbal communication. If there is a discrepancy between your verbal and non-verbal communication, your partner will be confused. Confusion leads to misunderstandings and misunderstandings lead to fights. Consistency in your non-verbal communication is assured if you say what you mean and mean what you say – because you have nothing to hide.
- Active Listening – notice I use the word “active” to describe the listening process. So what exactly is active listening? Active listening is the ability to listen without a hidden agenda. The way you do this is to listen with an open heart, an open mind and an open soul. Let’s be honest. Most people listen with their own hidden agenda and it usually occurs in one of two ways. The first way occurs when people listen with the intention of trying to “catch” the speaker providing false information so we can prove them wrong (and ourselves right). I often refer this type of listening as the: “Ah ha, I got you…” way of listening. The second way most people listen is by silently standing by and appear to be listening; but they are actually just waiting for the speaker to finish talking so they can say what they want to say. When we listen in this manner, we are not really listening to what is being said at all; rather we are listening with our own agenda.
The above 3 steps will provide you with the necessary tools you need for developing effective communication in your relationship so you can create a career and life you love!
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