Tracy Litt On Transformative And Growth Opportunities When Breaking Down

TTD 33 | Breaking Down

 

Society stigmatizes crying, fear, and anxiety as signs of weakness. That’s why breaking down is something many people avoid. Tracy Litt, Founder and CEO of The Litt Factor, is here to tell you that it must never be that way.  Joining Dr. Patty Ann Tublin, she presents her mindset work on managing fear and finding breakthroughs in your lowest points. Tracy explains why crying a lot is uncovers a better you and why everyone should go through it now and then. She also opens up about the oppressive nature of major religions, how COVID revealed the many benefits of work from home setup, and what made her leave a lucrative life in Corporate America.

Listen to the podcast here

 

Tracy Litt On Transformative And Growth Opportunities When Breaking Down

I have an incredible woman that is going to share all her wisdom with you. Before I introduce her, make sure you like, comment, share and subscribe to this show. This woman is described as the baby that Brené Brown and Tony Robbins would have. Can you picture that? Brené Brown, an incredible powerhouse, and Tony Robbins. If they had a baby, that’s who this guest would be.

She is a powerhouse of energy, exuding unconditional love and light but she will tell you herself that she is also stunningly direct, getting straight to the heart of what’s real and true. I know that for a fact because she told me before we recorded and started that she’s from Brooklyn. As Brooklyn girls, do not mess around. You will be able to learn more about her. You don’t need me to read her bio. I would like everybody to buckle up because Tracy Litt is about to take us for a ride. Welcome, Tracy.

Thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to hang out.

I am delighted to have you. Tracy, why don’t you start to share with us where you are now and how you got there, and we will take it from there?

I am the mother to three daughters who are teenagers, 2 out of the house and 1 on her way out. I have lived to tell the tale, saying, “Older children are the best. Teenagers are amazing.” The older they get, I find the depth of the relationship is more and more satiating.

A lot of people find the teenage years, especially with girls, difficult.

There were many times when it was truly hard but those times were part of the process, including myself, you. or anybody. I haven’t met a teenager that doesn’t experience growth because it’s such a crazy time of life. As they get older, your ability to relate to them, and them to relate to you, and to make a profound impact because they are cognitively capable. They become more available and want to hear you are the best. I am a mother to teenage daughters and have lived to tell the tale, which is funny. My husband has a T-shirt that says, “I’m a teenage daughter survivor.”

I am the Founder and CEO of The Litt Factor. We are a seven-figure human growth and a potential company that specifically focuses on the inner work of visionary women leaders and entrepreneurs. What that means is that you come to work with us when you are ready to truly go through your healing growth and expansion journey.

You can become the next-level version of yourself easily, allowing you to stand in the reality of the next level of your vision, impact, wealth, and the amazing emotions of empowerment that you can spend the hours of your day feeling. That’s what we do. How did I get here? We are doing every lick of work I give my clients by feeling my fear, loving my fear, thinking intentionally, and listening to that call and my soul when I was in Corporate America telling, “You can’t die like this. This is not enough.” I took the leap, and here I am.

It’s interesting you talk about fear because I was working with the client. He was talking about the growth and peeling of the layers of the onion. He’s like, “Why should I think I can have a better life? Why should I be any different?” I’m like, “It sounds to me you are afraid even to take a look.” He was like, “What?” He got it because it resonated with him emotionally.

A lot of the coaching work you do, I do, and any good coach does, has to do with what you feel, not necessarily what you think, and, many times, the disconnect. Tell us how you started your journey in Corporate America. It can be soul-sucking. Tell us a little bit about that if you want to even go back further to when you were a little girl in Brooklyn, the process of how you found yourself.

That’s a process that’s ongoing. It’s important that everyone reading gets the truth. There is no destination. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. That is the scientific truth. In that, we recognize that our purpose doesn’t live outside of us. Our purpose is to come inside and do the work. It is to heal, grow and expand.

I am by no stretch of the imagination at a destination. I’m in this version of me now, and we are going to keep rolling with that. I entered Corporate America because of the first part of my awakening, which I was in what I thought was going to be the relationship of my life. I found myself as a single mother with an eight-month-old baby, no job, and no college education.

I’m confused. Help me with the timeline. You were in a relationship with the person that you thought was Mr. Wonderful. Clearly, it wasn’t. You work in Corporate America.

There is always a beautiful ING on the end of everything. No one is ever done in this life. Everyone is growing, healing, expanding, and evolving.

Nope. This is how I got into Corporate America.

You were in a relationship and weren’t working at the time.

I was in a relationship, and it didn’t last. It was my first awakening. It was my first wake-up call to, “Whose life is this, and what is happening inside of me, that is tolerating so much less than I am worth.” That was my first eye-opener to my not-enoughness and to the work that I had to do. That was the first time that my higher self came through to me and loved me but called me out. “If you keep doing what you are doing, this is the life you are going to have. Are you available for this?”

How did you do that? For the people that are reading, you had your first awakening. You got in touch with your higher self. Was somebody coaching you?

There’s so much I want to say. Let me center on this. Everyone has a higher self because every one of us is connected to the oneness, to the greater intelligence, and the greater good. Every one of us is a spiritual being having a human experience. I say that, and I say it repetitively because it’s an imperative principle you must embrace. You don’t have to.

If you want to get where you want to go and experience life through your far more conscious, lighter, more enjoyable lenses, you will embrace this principle. In doing so, you are opening yourself to be connected. It was a specific night when my daughter was crying. My ex had already moved out of the house. We had a couple of weeks left until it was purchased. I was living with an air mattress as a couch. My daughter is screaming. She didn’t like to sleep. She is a normal, beautiful baby, screaming her face off.

I was having one of those moments. I cannot listen to this anymore. I shut the monitor off. I could still hear her through the other side of the house. I walked into the garage to get some reprieve. I walked into the garage, shut the door, and crumbled to the floor. I wasn’t consciously praying or anything because I didn’t do that then. It was like, “God, please help me.” I cried my eyes out. I would like to invite all the readers. The world would be a better place when everyone cried more. I cried, snot bubbled, and cried until I was lying on the floor, fetal position quiet.

In that quietness, in that stillness, my higher self came to me, not like an actual voice. It was like a hit, a feeling in my gut. The message felt like, “Whose life is this? How did you allow this? You are either going to stay here or wake up now, extract the lessons from this moment and do something much better for you and that little girl in there.”

That’s the beautiful thing. When you allow yourself to go on a journey and are committed to your own healing, growth, and expansion, you connect back to your body. You live with more spaciousness. You slow down a little bit. You understand that there is something so much bigger than you at play. You can stop being all human, which is where all of our fear, lack, scarcity, struggle, push, comparison, judgment, and all this low-level stuff lives. You can allow yourself to experience life more in your spiritual self.

When you said earlier, “The world would be a better place if everybody cried.” Expand upon that, please.

One of the things I’ve noticed through all the beautiful people I’ve served, predominantly women, is the repression and suppression of our emotions. When I say cry, I literally mean cry. I encompass all emotional expressions when I make a statement like that. When we cry more, when we feel our feelings, we have all been raised and indoctrinated into such, “I don’t have time for that. Move on.”

You don’t want to see that wound. You don’t want to deal with that. You don’t want to bring that back-up. We avoid, hide, ignore, buffer, drink, shop, complain, and do all of these things that are low-level and disempowering but we are doing it in an effort not to feel when an actual fact. The best thing you can do for yourself, mind, body, spirit, and soul is to let it up and out. To feel whatever needs to be felt until it no longer needs to be felt.

TTD 33 | Breaking Down
Breaking Down: Human purpose doesn’t’ live outside. It is to look within and do the work of healing, growing, and expanding.

 

The only problem with crying is the fact that we judge it as wrong. We immediately think when someone is crying, “What’s wrong?” We go into fix-it mode, which is another behavior that is interfering with our greatness. What if we all cried more? What if we were all in recognition that we are connected, held, and our emotions are part of our human expression and let it go?

When you let it go, what do you experience?

It is so good. The first thing you experience is a full release of anything you were holding on tension in your body. Shoulders drop. This feeling is this white-knuckle life feeling starts to go away. You start to see with new eyes and hear with new ears. Your energetic resonance rises because you are finally not holding on to stuff.

All of that, for anyone that is reading, that is into growth, manifestation, co-creating, and doing your life in an amazing way, creating relationships. It’s like, “Forget it. Do you want to talk about trust? That’s your lay space.” Do you want to trust? You have to feel your feelings in order to trust. You can’t be fully connected to yourself without feeling your feelings. That’s the tip of the iceberg of the benefits of letting it up and out.

When you feel your feelings, and you release them, it’s cathartic. It’s a cleanse for your mind and soul. What’s interesting is because of so much of my work, the whole relationship and trust all start with ourselves. You can’t trust yourself if you don’t love yourself. It’s not going to show up in the world. The paradigm shift is starting to happen in this crazy time that we are living in, where we used to try to avoid denying and ignoring feelings.

The body doesn’t forget. That’s why so much illness is wrapped around stress and the food we eat. I’m convinced of that. Much of my coaching has to do with emotional intelligence, relationship skills, business partners, entrepreneurs, and all that stuff. We used to say, “Be able to control your emotions.” I’ve changed that word to manage your emotion because when you control something, you are holding onto it but you can manage it if you allow yourself to feel, acknowledge, label, and go into it. Counterintuitively, you can let it go.

It no longer controls you or manages you because emotions that are repressed get amplified. That’s, in a nutshell, the essence behind road rage or people flipping out over nothing thing. I was thinking when you were saying, “Crying.” I think of the movie There’s No Crying in Baseball. It’s something like this there’s no crying in life. The interesting thing about emotions is that you’ve done a lot of work with grief and trauma. Personal growth is extreme emotions in a happy short lifespan. They can only exist for 5 to 7 minutes. It’s almost like, “What are you afraid of? It’s not going to kill you, not experiencing it.”

Here are two things that I want to touch on. First, I agree with you, and I use the same. In my teachings, I don’t use the word control for anything. I’m known for thought work. You don’t control your thoughts. That’s not a thing because anything control was one of those things that we need to slowly start to let go of in our culture at large, the word, the behavior, all of it.

When you said, “What are you afraid of? You are not going to die from it,” that’s the interesting thing about fear and biology. Inside of something I teach is called the elevation experience. I do a day about emotion. We do release work. Part of the release work is screaming. It always ends up screaming and crying, and that’s beautiful. The number one answer to what’s blocking you from feeling your feelings is if I start crying, I will never stop. I’m afraid I will never stop, which is not true at all.

These are all the more reasons why you need to do it if you think.

The thing to know, biologically, is your system does think you might die. That’s the interesting part of understanding the art of change, different, and more. Recognizing whether it’s you going from, “I suppress my feelings to out here, which is I feel my feelings freely and easily. Whenever they come up, it could be, I’m going for my corporate job to build a business. It could be. I’ve never used my voice to be someone who gets her needs met.” Whatever you are here in your familiarity and anything outside of that more different, change your mind, body, and system read that as she might die.

Even though you or I are holding space, we are coaching and nurturing, “Here we go, let’s do this,” and I’ve got you, inside each human being’s wiring is the, “I do think I will die if I cry, do that Facebook Live, tell my spouse what I need and leave that marriage.” I haven’t lost a client yet, and there have been thousands of them. Be aware of that because, “Am I going to die?” It feels so real, and it’s not. It’s simply like, “Congratulations, you have a beautifully functioning wiring system, and now let’s do the work to move through that.”

Everyone has a higher self because everyone is connected to the oneness. Everyone is a spiritual being having a human experience.

I’m going to push back on you a little bit. Maybe I misunderstood. I’m going back into my mind about fear, high-performance athletes, and all that stuff. My understanding is that fear and anxiety show up in the same exact way in our brains. If you took a functional MRI, the picture looks exactly the same. You feel the emotion. The biochemistry is the same. The difference is how you label it. It is what you call it. If fear shows up and it shows up in my brain the same way as anxiety, I would think I’m going to die from the anxiety as well?

You would if that’s your narrative. Here’s my perspective of what I’ve seen. Anxiety is a symptom or flavor of fear. Fear and anxiety aren’t necessarily the same in that way.

It’s a continuum if you will.

All of the sympathetic states’ ways of being, fear, comparison, anxiety, all of those things. What’s the question? This is an important thing to nail down.

People might think in their brains that they will die but neuroscience proves differently. Can you separate the two?

Of course, they won’t die. However, we must talk about the body because the brain doesn’t function in isolation. This is one of the detriments of mindset work, thought work or CBT that doesn’t include the body.

The base of the brain is connected to the top of the spinal cord. Only the AMA had separated mind and body. Before that, it was all connected.

However, the masses, which is why great shows like this go, “What? That’s not right. That’s not accurate.” We, as a culture, operate as if our heads are not connected to our bodies. You could leave your body at home. You run around like a chicken with your head cut off. That is our beautiful little culture.

If there was an alien that was watching over us, I say this all the time, Patty Ann. I’m always like, “There is an alien checking us out.” They would call in and be like, “I’m sorry. Where are all these people going? Where are they in a rush to? Why are they running? What’s the rush?” Somebody must be giving out an award for the most stressed out because these people are competing for that.

To keep that in mind, we are talking about that fear, the anxiety, and what’s going on. The amygdala is getting triggered, whether it’s directly from the limbic system, from the hypothalamus or the prefrontal cortex into the hippocampus, and going, “She’s going to die.” Trigger the fear response. The fear response becomes not a mind thing.

It’s the mind and body because, as you know but it’s important for the readers to know, our nervous system, our vagus nerve, is running from the brain stem all the way down through our body. All of these things are intertwined. When we talk about feeling, our feelings and fear are induced. The reason it’s being induced isn’t that it’s dangerous, as in you might die from this, which is helpful fear like, “I’m at the beach. I want to go on the water. There’s a fin in the water. Not so much. I’m not going to go in the water.” That’s helpful fear. That’s danger.

That’s a survival fear.

TTD 33 | Breaking Down
Breaking Down: You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Staying in your comfort zone feels great, but you are not growing.

 

That’s the primal fear but here’s the beauty of this. There’s no difference in the type of fear that is felt in terms of it’s all primal. Whether you are, it’s that analogy of the shark, trusting yourself or feeling your feelings, that primal brain fear response hasn’t evolved at all. It’s your responsibility as the being that’s directing all of this gorgeousness, your mind, your body, and all of these things to say, “I’m going to understand my fear response more comprehensively so that I don’t believe the thoughts.”

My system is giving me going. “Don’t feel your feelings. You are going to feel your feelings forever. You are never going to stop crying. Nobody likes a cry baby.” All of the old narratives start to come in. You have to direct your mind. If not, you will stay stuck where you are, maybe making a couple of steps forward in progress but always reverting back.

What you are describing is when you get triggered, that ancient survival fight-flight fear gets kicked in. You have to be able to find a way not to allow the amygdala to hijack the prefrontal cortex. That’s that quiets the vagus nerve. That calms and allows you to be rational. We work with this all the time but I want the readers to read your perspective. How do you do that, short of first, Socrates, “Know thy self?” Meaning knows your triggers. If I have that self-awareness, “That thin is dangerous or a person seems to trigger me in a conversation.” How do you quiet that fear, so the amygdala doesn’t hijack logical thinking and executive functioning of your brain?

You are talking in my language. There are a couple of things. The first thing is you don’t necessarily prevent the amygdala from being activated. It’s about how aware are you of yourself and your body and how aware are you take the actions to help diffuse and love that fear? I have a TED Talk on this topic that I want to invite all your readers to go to because I walk through the answer to that question, “How do I deal with this,” in action form and practical applications. It’s called Dear Fear, It’s Not You, It’s Me.

The other thing is that fear has gotten this bad rap the whole time, and that makes me sad. Fear is doing its job. It’s like, “I am here to make sure you breathe. I am winning over here in the survival column. I’m not supposed to know what your dreams are. I’m not supposed to be the function that fulfills all of your heart’s desires. You got to figure that out.” To do that, you, me, and all of us must recognize and shift the power dynamic from fear of being more powerful than us. Us, in fact, which is the scientific truth, being more powerful than our fear, mind, and nervous system.

When you say us being the scientific truth, being more powerful than that, what do you mean by that?

Meaning that it is scientifically proven that we are more powerful than our fear when we understand.

When you say we are, what do you mean by we?

Me, you, any of us humans, all of us together.

Our humanity is stronger than our fear. Is that what you are saying?

Our individual inner power is stronger than our fear.

Where does the inner power come from?

The world will be a better place when everyone cries more.

It’s being taught by someone like me about the fact that it’s already living inside of you. It’s just no one ever taught you how to do it. This isn’t even me having to put anything in you like a microchip. This is like, “If I use my breathing and my respiration like that if I understand how to play with my regulation and my body, and if I fully understand consciousness and that my thoughts are options and not facts. What? Really? Okay? Tell me more about that.”

If I understand that the ways of moving through fear that we have been taught have truly been wrong, not because anyone else was wrong, it’s just we know new things all the time. When we know better, we do better like the old adage, which is true, then we know more now. To be able to say, “When fear arrives on the scene, which is never and if. It’s always a win.” To take a whole different approach because the old way of dealing with fear, which is masculine and energy, also is like, “Do it anyway, push through, overcome.” It doesn’t work. That gives the fear a stronger power position.

It gives oxygen.

What I want us to all learn how to do is appreciate it right off the bat. If fear has arrived, it’s an indication that you are growing and expanding. Think about the context of your work for the readers that are here, that come and read for you and all your beautiful guests. You are in a relationship. It’s something that feels scary as you are starting to trust because you are starting to trust yourself. To your biology, that is no different from a fear moment than the shark in the water.

To understand that and go, “I understand the difference. That’s not a danger. Fear is a different category as I’m working through my trust. It makes sense. My heart is beating. I feel afraid. I’m a little bit sweaty. Hold on.” The first move is in that recognition, that fear has arrived and appreciates it like, “Hi. Okay.” I’ve had a little invisible desk on my desk since I started this journey.

I learned about fear. I delved into fear and risk expertise because when I was in corporate and had the calling to do what I do now, which I didn’t even know it was a thing. I started researching all these different modalities. I knew I wanted to help. When I came across the coaching hypnotherapy, this whole world, I immediately said, “That’s it. I’m in. I’m doing this.”

On a Monday, I was in and ready to give my notice and tell everyone on Tuesday, “I was paralyzed. On Wednesday, I was pumped again. On Thursday, I was in paralyzing self-doubt and back and forth. Patty Ann, I wasted several years, which are now not a waste because it gave me the gift of what I do for all my clients, which is I’m going to teach you how to circumvent all of that and not spend several years that way because I was like, “How could I want it so bad and be paralyzed?” How could I feel excited and sure like a reader who’s doing something fabulous for their relationship? They are like, “I can’t do this.”

It comes down to that profound understanding of our biology and how to work with your inner power to realize, “I see you. Hi, fear. I’m not going to die from this. I’m not going to die because I’m about to use my voice in this gorgeous relationship that I have been working towards. This is me getting beyond myself. This is me leaving that zone of familiarity, where I never trusted and used my voice. I’m living out here in the unknown, into the person I’m becoming.” Naturally, fear is going to be on that ride every step of the way.

One thing that you said that I work with all the time in all my different relationships, work, corporate entrepreneurial, and personal, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable because when you are in your comfort zone, it feels great but you are not growing. I will be a little dramatic and say, “You are dying.”

I will take your drama all the way. I’m with you. If you are not growing, you are dying. There is no gray on that one.

That’s why the whole conversation about retirement is messed up unless you are going to a different phase of your life but retire to do what, die faster? I don’t get that. It’s so much of being connected to our emotions. It’s exactly what you are saying. You use a little bit of different language of what the work I do. Feel it. What are you feeling in?

When I’m working with clients, I will stop. I’m like, “What did you say?” They are disconnected from their feeling that I know I’m feeling it but it’s not my feeling. I’m connected to them. I will feel it and share that with them. They are like, “You are a witch.” I’m like, “Exactly.” The issue is because I’m in the space, they are so disconnected from who they are and what they feel. It’s easier to cognitively go with logic because logic and rationality are safe. You are playing it safe.

TTD 33 | Breaking Down
Breaking Down: Your mind will always show you loss and not gain because it is wired for survival.

 

Let me bring it back to what you said earlier about the crying, going into the garage, and melting. You have to have a breakdown before you can have a breakthrough because that’s when you know that everything in the past that worked for you is no longer working. That’s why you are breaking down, and therein lies the opportunity. If you miss it, all that stuff is going to come back because it’s protecting you from what? It’s from yourself.

The beauty in what you said, “If you miss it.” That comes down to, “How willing are you to notice it?” If we played out that exact scene that happened for me, there could have also been an easy trajectory where I was crying in the garage. I lay on the floor. I heard some messages but was like, “I’m going to still squeeze round holes into square pegs over here. Don’t mind me. I see the red flags. They are smacking me in the face. It’s fine.”

I will write because that would be an indication that I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t willing. I didn’t want to experience what I was going to have to experience. This is not a judgment. It’s neither wrong nor right. It’s to notice that you have to be willing to receive. To everyone at a different level of consciousness and interest, some of you are going to read this blog, and your life will be changed as a result. Some of you will read and have to read a few more times. Some of you will read and be like, “No, I want to read this now.” It is not because it’s not helpful but because you are not ready yet. That’s okay.

That speaks to what people say all the time, “I’ve heard something.” All of a sudden, I heard something. You heard it. You are at the right space, the right time in your life. A lot of what you are saying answers the questions for people that are stuck in unhappy relationships and unhappy jobs. Everything under the umbrella of unhappy or not working for me, you become stuck.

Let’s talk about beliefs. The belief is that you can be more, do more, and have more. You don’t own it yet. You keep yourself. Who’s responsible for our lives? We are. We do love to blame everybody else. It’s my partner’s fault. It’s my boss’s fault. It’s the location’s fault. It’s the timing of the world. It’s all that stuff. No. Take a look at that selfie. We don’t believe the gain is worth the pain or that we are worth it. Speak to that.

Our brains are wired to show us loss and not gain. It’s important to start there like when I was talking about understanding their fear in your biology. There are certain foundations of understanding, not you as Patty Ann or me as Tracy and all of our programming and other things but our humanness. There are some critical things to understand. One of those things is your mind always shows you loss and not gain because the mind is wired for survival. It is like, “Paid to find the problem.” All day, it’s like, “Do save her. That’s a lot.”

That’s why we remember the negative. Somebody has done a million things for you but you remember that one time they pissed you off. That’s true with parents. That could have been done wonderful things but you remember that time they yelled at you.

It’s important to recognize that because it also lets you go, “There’s nothing wrong with me because none of us need to be fixed.” That’s not how we do any internal work. We are all experiencing what we need to experience at the moment in which we are experiencing it. This is where my book came from. This whole concept. It’s called Worthy Human. It’s because we all have worth wounds. When I say worth, we can interchange it with enoughness, wholeness, and worthiness. It’s all the same thing. We all have worth wounds even if you have never had big trauma in your life or the words I’m saying, she’s like, “What are you saying?”

If you are a human being reading this blog post, you have wounds to heal. Those wounds always connect back to some form or fashion of worthiness or lack of worthiness, “I wasn’t enough because. I didn’t matter because I wasn’t significant enough if I would’ve mattered.” It’s important to understand that. If working on and healing through your worth wounds supports the self-image that you need to have to see yourself as someone who is enough is whole, who deserves this gorgeous relationship, first and foremost, with themselves as you know and speak to, and with anyone that deserves to share their space and energy.

It becomes a belief in self, coupled with a true embracing of the inherent truth that you are already whole, worthy, and deserve nothing less than everything you desire. We have been raised and indoctrinated into a world because of our upbringing, religion at large, and other things we’ve believed as a culture that we have to earn it. You must X, Y, Z or you don’t deserve it. That is a fallacy. We are birthright as spiritual beings, having human experiences. You woke up now, and you are enough. You are whole and worthy.

The wounds are the things that get to be healed because those are the lies that you are believing, in your programming, in your belief structure, and making you question like mine forever was I wasn’t smart enough. Mine is not smart enough. It ran deep and pervasive that I would skip periods in high school. I didn’t go to college because I legitimately was like, “It’s not even worth it. I’m not smart enough.”

I got into a lot of trouble because that’s what I perceived about myself until I started doing the work and went through it. It doesn’t even occur to me now. I’m smart. Recognizing that we have that work to do when you work through that, and even if you jumped on my train for a minute, it was like, “Fine. I will listen to this woman. I’m enough. I’m worthy now.” What is that change for you? How different is your day when you aren’t spending half of it playing the I’m not enough game?

Our individual inner power is stronger than our fear.  

What is so profound is what we tell ourselves? Our brain doesn’t know the difference between truth, fact or fiction. If we tell ourselves, “We are not enough. We are not smart,” our brain will believe that then it will manifest itself.

It is all why you’ve got to get your mind magic on and work on yourself. This is exactly the point. If you are not working on yourself, there are two things. You will either start to work on yourself by a catalyst or by choice. My hope for the world is it’s by choice because I have been in the catalyst position, and it sucks. Many of us have. To your point earlier, you mention something about, “You will get the lesson again.” You will. If you don’t wake up the first time, it’s going to hurt more. That’s the way it is.

It adds insult to injury. You think, “I would’ve figured this out the first time.” I’m hesitating to ask this question but you mentioned religion, and what role does it have in society with this? Is it the sacrifice? I’m not a religious person.

I’m not either. I’m Jewish. I was born and raised from more of a traditional standpoint than going to the temple and following the guide standpoint. I mentioned religion because, number one, it’s always an important distinction when I speak to or a spiritual being, having a human experience. There has nothing to do with religion. One has nothing to do with the other.

I noticed you used the word spiritual.

Yes, it’s important to say that. When we are talking about the worth in any capacity, we have to talk about religion, not the religion part of the religion but inside every religion is a depth of oppression. That is terrible and detrimental. I have watched, served, helped, and witnessed some of the most powerful women leaders that you would all know and the depth of the inner s*** that they are dealing with because they were raised Catholic, Protestant, Jewish or whatever the religion is. Religion without oppression is a beautiful thing. Religion with oppression is a problem.

You are talking about the main monotheistic religions. I would imagine Buddhism. Does it have the same oppression?

No. Monotheism, most masses-related religions, all are woven with a depth of detrimental oppression. “You will be worthy when? If you don’t do X, Y, and Z, you are going to hell.”

It’s earning your place in heaven.

Earning your worth as a human being. That is the message of oppression. “You are nothing until you X, Y, Z. You must earn your way to X, Y, Z.”

I am not listening carefully enough. I didn’t get that.

This isn’t personal to me. This is what I have observed client after client and the awakenings that go on. When I was like, “There is no sin.” Let me clear this up for you. You were whole the whole time. This is the part of the religion that is detrimental if we can create a world that has religion without oppression, what a gorgeous place it will be.

TTD 33 | Breaking Down
Breaking Down: If you are not working on yourself, you will either start to work on yourself by catalyst or by choice.

 

I’m getting uncomfortable because I don’t want to go into the whole religion thing. Some people have changed their life for the better. It has saved them because it brought them inner peace without religion.

First of all, I want to compliment you because I love that you were able to be like, “I’m uncomfortable.” That’s something we all need to do more. It’s to be like, “I’m getting uncomfortable now.” You are connected to yourself. You were able to say it. You articulated it. It was such a gorgeous thing to witness. I’m with you.

That’s why I like to separate, not the religion, because religion is gorgeous. It creates belief for people. It gives us something greater than us, and it got it beautiful. That’s why when I say religion, this is not a common attack or a negative on religion. It’s about, “Can we go in and pull out the oppressive nature? The oppressive messaging that move inside of that.”

When I was younger, I would have been all in with you, but maybe as the Grim Reaper is catching up to me. I’m like, “Let me think about this whole thing here.” I have had some episodes with some devout name, the religion. It works for them. I’m like, “Let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water.” I get that. The religion and what you are saying reminds me of the expression, “Don’t let schooling get in the way of your education.” Take us from going all over the place here. You are a single mom with an eight-month-old living on your air mattress as a couch. How did you get into corporate? What did you do?

In that beautiful awakening garage story I told you, it felt clear for me in terms of, “I am not going back and being who I have been.” I don’t know what I’m exactly I’m going to do but it’s not going to be where I’ve been because I am committed.” In many ways, she saved me, my daughter.

People say that all the time. Were you working in New York at the time?

No. I was in Florida.

You aren’t doing that horrible commute like the cattle cars I call the train.

No, that was my father’s commute. That’s how we became Floridians. He used to commute an hour and twenty minutes every day from Jersey to New York to work. That’s what made us Floridians. He hit his twenty years, which was his pension threshold. He was like, “We are at.”

This is all pre-COVID. I love New York City. I love to go into the city. When I go in and if I’m on the train at 10:00 or 11:00 at night. I look around and think to myself, “This has been away.” My heart breaks for them but it’s their choice.

When I came out of that awakening, I was like, “I need a new career.” I had owned a company prior to having my daughter called As You Wish. I was doing event planning, weddings, and corporate events. It was great.

That’s a ton of work. You were always on.

If fear has arrived, it indicates that you’re growing and expanding.

That’s why I couldn’t continue it because, as a single mother, it’s nights and weekends predominantly, and I wasn’t willing to give up my time with her. I said to myself, “What can I do with my skillset? I didn’t have a college education. I’m phenomenal at sales, working with people and organizations. What can I do that’s made me successful in my event planning business but have banker’s hours?”

The idea of human resources, recruitment, and stuff like that came into awareness. I threw out a few lines to some people I know, “I’m looking for work.” Someone responded, “I have a friend who started a company. They are looking for recruiters. Go interview with them.” I ended up interviewing with them and getting the job.

I did an hour and fifteen-minute commute every single day, back and forth because Taylor wasn’t old enough to put in preschool yet because she was still a baby-baby. Thankfully, I had one of my dear friends who had a daughter the same age as Taylor, who lived down the street from me. For months, I would wake up extra early, feed her breakfast, and drop her off at Andrea’s house. She would spend the day there. I would drive home. I would get back twelve hours later. I would pick her up. We would spend an hour together. It makes me emotional still to this day. I put her to bed, go back, and do it again and again.

I love it because the soul-sucking part came later. I felt I’m doing it. I’m creating. I was in creation mode. I was creating a life for her and me. This was about, “Great. What can I do? How can I do it?” It was a commission-based job. It was one of those like, “We are going to give you an advance.” Back then, it was $30,000 a year, and we couldn’t do anything for that. I was like, “I can do this.” Before you knew it, I was top in sales month-over-month.

I became promoted. I became a Sales Director. I was managing all of these different things. That’s how I ended up in HR. I got recruited out of that job by one of the clients I used to place people for. I ended up in elder care. I was several years in the business by the time I landed my last corporate job as a VP of HR for a healthcare company that specialized in skilled nursing facilities. I love old people. I was like, “Anything I can do.” Old people are underrated in our society, and they deserve so much love. I started working in that sector.

That shifts power culture. Other cultures they revered.

There were much growth and determination in dropping her off, going, doing, and being like, “I am doing this.” It ended up being extremely fruitful and successful. She started preschool. We got a great apartment and both overdoing all these things. I was in that VP job and was like, “I have so much more to give to our world than what I’m able to give in this little space that I’m in here.” I started being like, “I can’t.” At that point, I was working at home. I talk about people thinking you are crazy. I’m running everything from my house. I travel when I feel like it or not at all. I am making great money. I was like, “I’m going to leave all this now to go try that thing that feels right.”

You were disconnected from your purpose. You were living somebody else’s life.

That never works. When I leaped out of Corporate America, everybody around me was like, “Isn’t this what we are all supposed to want? You did it. You have a kid. You are thriving. You own a house and have a car. You make six figures, whatever the hell that and why that became important. People love you, and you are the VP.” None of it mattered to me.

When I left, everybody was like, “Are you crazy? I think you may be crazy.” I was like, “No. The way we were raised and what we were told was as a bill of goods.” It is not like, “Once I get this point, I’ve got 2.5 kids. I pick a fence and everything. I have insurance. We should be happy now. Isn’t like that what they told me?” I did all the things but 75% of America is miserable.

I will say the kids nowadays. I will even give you in to your 40 but say the 20s and 30-year-olds. I’m chuckling. My generation overall has done a horrible job raising. A lot of what’s going on is epic parenting failure. I’m going to be on epic parenting failure. The kid doesn’t fail. The first time the kid doesn’t get his way is when he doesn’t get admitted to his college of choice. “Johnny has been a genius.” You pick the teacher and the coach. You bully the teacher to give the kids the 89 and 90s. He or she gets the A or whatever. You get a trophy for showing up. Even if your team sucks, it’s okay. That’s not okay.

The entitlement is through the root. The sense of it is all about me. I could say a lot of negative things but what I like watching, and I see my kids doing this too from a distance, is what I heard on TV with COVID radically shifting the whole work from home. As a working mom, I have four children. Women have been begging to work from home since we entered the workforce.

TTD 33 | Breaking Down
Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One

I worked for myself because I knew when I had my fourth kid, the best boss in the world wasn’t going to let me raise my kid the way I wanted to and work. I didn’t feel like working hard and having somebody else using my brains to get rich. That’s a different conversation but it’s a truth. Why should I do that to make you say, “We are not doing that.”

It was probably my kids more than anything that made me want to work for myself. I’m probably also unemployable because, “You couldn’t be my boss. I would be horrible to manage because you can’t manage me.” In the companies that I consult with and coach with, a lot of the old White men are like, “How are we going to get these kids back to the office?” I said, “Why do you need them back in the office?” They said, “Productivity.” I said, “The research shows the productivity is better.” “We need it for the culture.”

Anytime you hear any reason, insert the word control. We want to control. Whole middle-level management would be wiped out but we are adults. It blows my mind. I was watching the news and hearing the CEO of a big company. Everybody reading would know. I think there’s a little too much entitlement going on but I’m chuckling because he’s like, “I have been begging.”

This is a CEO of a big company, “I have been begging people to come back to work. I don’t know what else I can do.” He’s saying that. He goes, “My people are telling me, don’t push too hard.” It’s a different generation. We are going to have to learn to adapt to it. They are right. Why should I have to get up, commute, and sit in an office where I don’t talk to anybody anyway? When was the last time these guys had two kids that they were worried about? They had to catch a train. Many of them go from their penthouse downstairs or they have their driver. You change a working woman’s life by letting her work from home.

This is mundane, Tracy. You are getting ready to go to work, and the toilet starts to leak. Now you don’t have to call in sick and make an excuse because you will say your car breaks down before you say your home because your kid was sick. At least when we were younger. I used to coach women, “Don’t say you are staying home because your kid’s sick. Come up with any other excuse because it will be okay until it’s not okay.”

Now you can work. Call the plumber. The plumber is coming at 2:00. You hear, “Excuse me.” You go on mute and stop the video. You let the plumber in. You go back. I love the transformation and the paradigm shift that’s going on. What serves women well, serves the world and the family well. For a while, when COVID was starting to open up again. I’m like, “They are coming back.” I’m like, “I don’t think so.” The media wants us to think people are coming back. What’s your take on it?

When COVID came on the scene, I was doing a lot of lives. I was doing pro bono and all kinds of stuff. What I was explaining it as is the year when we thought it was only going to be a year but we will call it this anyway. The year that the universe shook the Earth like a snow globe. That is what I am saying COVID is. I believe in greater intelligence, oneness, and everything is happening for the highest good, even when it feels bad.

It was like, “let’s shake this earth up. Let’s see what falls out and what changes. Who’s going to wake up? What’s going to change? What’s going to try to stay the same?” The external circumstances must drive the massive change that we need for evolutionary purposes. Many things weren’t working. The whole concept and everything you are sharing is such a gift because there would be no other way to mass test how productive and effective working from home is.

How many actual hours or minutes do people get back into their lives, allowing them to feel more supported, seen, and heard, which creates more loyalty and then creates more productivity? In the role, I was in human resources. It was specifically focused on acquisition and retention. When we are talking about retention, I used to watch companies. Many times I was like, “I wish I were the actual decision-maker here.” I would watch companies go invest in the most ridiculous things, thinking, “This will make them more productive. This will generate more loyalty. This will be the tipping point for our retention and lower attrition.”

None of it ever had to do with the actual human, their growth, and nurturing. It was all like, “We got a new tech system. We got a new login system. We will have a team meeting and outing.” Nobody cares. That’s not what people want. This is a massive gift. It is not going anywhere. There will be companies that have hybrid models and are all remote. It’s a gift to our society.

I’m thinking of two companies. I do a lot of consulting. It’s all relationship skills that drive the bottom line. They are saying, “The employees don’t care about more money. They are at a certain level.” If there’s nothing we can do, and I’m like, “Gross oversimplification. Do you know what floats their boat? How do you make the assignments?”

In other words, I’m saying, “You are trying to motivate them. Clearly, it’s not working. You have to find out what inspires them.” They look at me. It’s like, “It’s not genius.” You are using an old model for a new paradigm. You have to change how you create the culture. You don’t save a ton of money on your real estate. Every quarter has a real offsite where you bring someone like you and me in.

If you are not growing, you are dying. There is no gray area.  

What the lead guide doesn’t know anything. Not that the guy’s country club, you take, you go to Cancun, to Cabo, wherever you want to go. If you will see people, real relationships will form. They will go back to work, and your culture problem takes care of itself but it blows my mind. Two more questions. One is out of all the wisdom you’ve learned throughout your life, and Lord knows there’s plenty here, what’s the one most important thing you want people to know?

Outside of the common, I already made that you are whole and worthy because that has to be there, that you can have in your lived experience, anything that you desire. Whatever you desire, you can only desire because it’s all ready for you. You wouldn’t be able to conceive of it. Your imagination wouldn’t be there with it if it weren’t already yours.

I hope everybody takes that to heart. Last question. What’s the last book you reread, and why?

I have the one I’m reading now is Bliss Brain by Dawson Church. I have to give that a plug. The last time I reread was, Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza.

Why?

It is profound to understand what it takes to change. The way that he brings work. He has been a huge mentor for me. It’s one of those books that I have earmarked. The pages are torn at this point. I’m a book buyer. I need to touch it. I need to feel, smell, and do things with it.

Where can people find out more about you? I know people are going to be googling you like crazy. Where do you want to send them?

TheLittFactor.com is our website. All of our resources, the book, the TED Talk, everything you can do is on there.

Tracy, thank you so much. This was incredible. I feel fortunate to have had you as a guest, and that concludes this episode of The Trust Doctor: Restoring Trust & Enriching Significant Relationships. As promised, Tracy took us for a ride. Make sure you like, comment, share and subscribe. Until next time.

 

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About Tracy Litt

TTD 33 | Breaking DownAfter spending several years in the HR industry, working for large corporations in a series of progressive advancements, I decided to follow my calling. I knew I was destined to serve people on a much deeper level, to help people activate their greatness. I bring enlightenment and empowerment to women so they can become their highest self. If you are growing your awareness, raising your consciousness, not believing what your mind tells you, connecting to your vision, and making decisions from your future place, you’re always going to end up where you want to be. The woman you want to become is how you’re going to start to make decisions and I’ll help you through the process of Becoming HER. What would SHE do?

My professional experience connecting with people began in talent acquisition, employee relations, and leadership in the corporate world. My roles ranged from recruitment for large national organizations to vice-presidencies in highly-reputable healthcare firms.

I knew it was time to step into my fear, find my power, and live in an extraordinary way. For me, that was achieved by becoming a Certified Mindset Coach. My innate gifts of connection, intuition, and inspiration defined my destiny – to support individuals and organizations in becoming extraordinary, however that is defined by them.

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