The other day my son was telling me about the training he received when learning to parachute from an airplane. He was sharing with me all the physical and emotional training he received when he asked if I knew the absolutely most important aspect about parachute jumping from an airplane. After a few wrong answers my son finally told me:“It’s the person who builds your parachute that matters the most when you jump from the plane”. My son went on to say that no matter how terrific your training is, or your physical conditioning, when you pull that cord on your parachute, if the parachute doesn’t open – all your training is irrelevant and you are as good as dead.
This story got me thinking. Even though you love your partner, do you trust them enough that you would want them to build your life’s parachute? Do you have enough faith in your partner that when the chips are down, and you feel as if your life is in free fall, your partner is the one you believe will catch you before you hit the ground? Or is the trust in your relationship so fragile that you wouldn’t even want your partner to think about having anything to do with building your parachute to stop your free fall?
In other words, if your life depended on it, who would you want to be the one to save you from a crash and burn scenario in life?
If you cannot answer, without hesitation that you want your partner to be the one to make your parachute – or be the one to catch you before you fall – the level of trust you have in your relationship is not where it needs to be.
Below are the three secrets you must know to increase the level of trust in your relationship so you are certain your partner will never let you hit the ground. Remember trust is at the heart of every long-term loving relationship.
1. The very first thing you must do is look at the level of commitment you bring to your relationship. If your partner had the same level of commitment to your relationship that you have, would that be satisfactory in your eyes? If not, take a long hard look in the mirror and evaluate your sense of commitment to your partner – and if need be, work on increasing your own level of commitment in your relationship. This is a fantastic way to increase the amount of trust in your relationship.
2. The next thing you must do to increase trust in your relationship is to make sure your relationship is predicated upon a partnership and not a competition. In other words, are you and your partner on the same team, in it together; or are you constantly competing against each other? Competition creates a winner and a loser. And I don’t know about you, but I never trust the competition. Make sure your relationship is a team effort, i.e., being in it together. Great teams are built upon trust among the players; happy couples must have trust between each other.
3. Finally, are you trustworthy? In other words, are you authentic, predictable and consistent in what you say and in what you do? Remember we cannot expect our partner to give us what we ourselves are not willing to give. So be trustworthy in your action and your words; be consistent, be predictable and be authentic.
You now have the three secrets you need to increase the level of trust in your relationship. Trust is a major building block for long-term happiness and intimacy. If you have enough trust in your relationship, your relationship will be able to weather any storm.
Your partner will be the one you want the most to build your life’s parachute and the only one whom you will want to catch you before you fall.
Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,
Dr. Patty Ann