At 19 years old, Evan Carmichael had already built and sold a biotech software while the rest of us were just at the precipice of figuring out life. At 22, he became a venture capitalist helping startups grow funds up to $15 million. In this episode, Evan sits down to chat with Dr. Patty Ann Tublin on how the power of belief and embracing fear and failure became key drivers to his success. Anything is possible as long as you believe in it and do the work needed to achieve it. Tune and be inspired by his message and his story to access the greatness that’s already within you.
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The Power Of Belief: How To Embrace Fear And Create A Better Life With Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael, our Amazing guest, is up for this and raring to go. Before I go over to Evan, let me tell you a little bit about him because I could go on for days. Evan is an internet entrepreneur, which is a huge understatement. He believes in people and entrepreneurs. That’s why I so resonate with him. Gary Vaynerchuk has described Evan as the DJ who inspires people. I feel inspired, and I’m sure you will too. Evan runs a YouTube channel for entrepreneurs that has a mere 2 million subscribers and over 3 million viewers.
At nineteen, he built and sold a biotech software firm. At nineteen years old, most of us were trying to figure out how to put our right foot in front of our left foot. At 22, he was a venture capitalist, helping startups raise funds ranging from $500,000 to $15 million. He now runs EvanCarmichael.com for entrepreneurs because this is a man that will help you #BelieveInYourself if you don’t already.
He has written four best-selling books. He’s a keynote speaker. He’s been named by Forbes as one of the World’s Top 40 Social Talents. He has set two world records. He uses a trampoline, which was new to me. I used to see him jumping up and down. He has a standup desk.
He owns Canada’s largest salsa dancing studio, where he met his wife, Nina. If you read his latest book, she is incredible. I encourage you to learn about her. I fell in love with her. I have not spoken to her yet. Evan keeps a large bag of Doritos in front of him because he reminds himself daily that he’s stronger than a bag of Doritos. How many of us can say that? He’s a husband, dad and a believer in you. Buckle up because Evan Carmichael is about to take us for a ride. Evan, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you, Patty Ann. It’s great to be here. You’re making me blush. I’m ready to dive in whenever you are.
Evan, you have done so many things. Who has been the most influential person in your career, and why? When I met you, you spoke about the four people behind you, but who’s the most influential?
Those were my parents. In my office, I got five giant canvases on the wall behind me. The one in the middle is me when I’m 8 or 9 years old, and my mom and dad over me. This is my reminder as I walk into the office every day. They were not entrepreneurs, but they taught me how to be a human and a lot of lessons on how to live and treat people.
All of that stuff that translated into a lot of business success came from them. I’m super grateful to have them in my life. That’s why they’re on my wall. I look at them every morning as I come in. When I’m getting ready for this show, I’m like, “I don’t know what Patty Ann is going to ask me.” I’m glad the first question was an easy one.
That is amazing that you feel that way about your parents and I’m sure they’re so proud. As a relationship expert, I believe all success is predicated upon the ability to create, nurture, and sustain healthy relationships. We learned that from the first social experience we have in our lives, which is in our home with our parents. You are Uber successful, but most Uber successful people didn’t start out this way. Tell us a little bit about your early failures and the people that helped you overcome that because entrepreneurs that read this blog post if we know nothing, we know that they will fail.
The lack of belief is the world’s biggest problem.
A lot of it happened early in life before my first business. I remember I always have these crazy ideas of what I should do. I always liked money and business for whatever reason. I was always the banker in monopoly. One person has to be the banker, and I have always liked being the banker. I remember early on that I had an idea that I was going to do things like lemonade stands and washing cars. I did that, and that was fun.
One of my ideas was I was going to turn raisins into grapes and sell them. I don’t know why I thought that. It was the other way around. The grapes turn into raisins, but in my eight-year-old head, it was flipped. I’m sitting outside on my doorstep on the front porch, and I have a magnifying glass. I’m trying to turn these raisins into grapes
I spent half of a Saturday trying to turn my raisins into grapes. My parents came out and were like, “What are you doing?” I said, “I’m trying to do this.” Instead of telling me that it was stupid or it wouldn’t work, they encouraged me but also let me know that it was the other way around like, “Take your grape and try to turn into a raisin.”
They didn’t make you feel stupid because you had it backward. They asked you what you were doing, and then they course-corrected for you without making you feel bad.
One of the things I loved the most about them is they always gave me a shield to be myself and make mistakes. I remember early on in one of my art classes. The art teacher had an assignment where we had to draw a window, a boat on the other side of the window and a sea. I don’t think I failed, but I didn’t get a great grade on it. My mom went to the parent-teacher interview and asked the teacher about this. She said, “What did you ask him to do?” She said, “I asked him to make a picture with a boat and windows.” She’s like, “Is that not what he did?”
My teacher wasn’t happy. I won’t add more embellishment to it. What I took from that was, “I’m protected. I went onto the world, did something, tried to follow the instructions and didn’t do a good enough job.” My mom protected me and said, “You did it. You did what she said to do. That’s on her. That’s not on you.” There is a lot of encouragement and support.
One of my earliest ventures where I started making a little bit of money was in baseball cards. I remembered in 1988 that Ben Johnson lost the Olympics in the 100-meter dash. I’m Canadian. He was our golden boy. We were supposed to win, and he won. I’m like, “Ben Johnson won.” The steroids got stripped from him. I was devastated as his eight-year-old child that this happened, so my mom went out and bought me some baseball cards.
I don’t even know where the idea came from. Maybe the Toronto Blue Jays had come and opened up or were about to come to Toronto. 1988 or 1989 was the first year for the Blue Jays, and that got me into baseball cards. All of a sudden, I was trading baseball cards and going to garage sales. I was selling it to my friends at school. This is where I learned a lot about negotiation.
In spring, summer, and fall, we would drive three hours out of town to The Orange Tent, a giant flea market. They had a quarter of it where people were selling sports cards. I’m 12 years old at this point, negotiating with 40 and 50-year-olds about baseball cards. My parents didn’t know anything about baseball cards, but they would drive me there every weekend so I could do my business. They spent more on gas than I would make in actual profits, but it’s the lesson and simple things like our dollar is a coin.
It wasn’t the point for them. They were supporting you.
They were like, “He got this drive to do this thing. Let’s figure out a way to go and help him.” My mom would take me to spring training with the baseball players to play in the spring because it’s too cold here, so they go to Florida. We went to Florida with a Blue Jays play, and we would go every year. I would sit in the parking lot where the players came in. I would know who they were by seeing them drive in. I have their baseball cards and balls ready to go off and sign. Every 3 or 4 years in a row, we would go down. My mom liked baseball but wasn’t an aficionado. She saw the drive, and I’m there getting more autographs and collections than the 40 and 50-year-olds who were doing it as their business.
My mom was born in Italy. In that era, a woman in an Italian family had a certain role. You’re supposed to do these things. This is how an Italian woman is supposed to behave, and she wasn’t having it. She’s like, “I don’t want to do that.” It caused a lot of conflict with her parents. They were proud of all the stuff she did in terms of being the first woman chair of the University of Toronto, running for politics and winning, multiple writing, and having a lot more public life.
She refused to fit into the mold and had to fight for herself and her family. Part of that was, “For our kids, we’re going to not judge them and not tell them what to do.” There are some standards. It wasn’t just, “Do whatever you want.” I remember my sisters would always have straight As, and I would get Bs and Cs. Report card time, I would have to go to their bedroom and have our talk, but it always ended on a positive. It was always, “You are Evan Castrilli Carmichael. You can do anything you believe that you can.”
There were standards to reach, and we had to go off and do something, but what we did wasn’t of interest. As long as we cared and were passionate about it, they would try to find some way to support us through it, which is a lesson that I try to bring as best as I can to my son. When people ask me, “Is your son going to be an entrepreneur?” I’m like, “I don’t know. I don’t care. As long as he’s happy doing his thing, I’ll try to support him as much as possible.” I’m playing Minecraft with him, learning art and all the stuff that I would not normally do. I don’t think that’s me. That’s my parents flowing through me because they lead the way.
You described that you’re transferring now to your son. You also bring it to the entrepreneurs you help.
I shivered a little bit when you said that. It’s the greatest compliment you could give. It’s what I’m trying to do. I don’t even know that I am doing it, but if I could give people what my parents gave me, it’s the ultimate dream. That’s why it impacted.
It’s in your DNA. You got it from your parents. Generation to generation, you’re passing it on to your son, but you also have many other people you’re sharing this gift with through your entrepreneurial work. Your parents gave you permission to fail, which gave you permission to be vulnerable so that you did not lose trust in yourself and others when things don’t go according to plan. Let’s face it. For most people, most things don’t go according to plan. Is that accurate?
I’m still working on all that stuff, but in general, yes.
You could be the best in the world at something, and you’re not because you don’t believe in yourself to chase it down.
If we had any one of your gazillion clients reading, they would be shaking their heads. I would like you to tell us how you help your entrepreneurs succeed because it’s rooted in trust, vulnerability, and the #Believe.
The lack of belief is the world’s biggest problem. Everybody has what I call Michael Jordan level genius at something, but we’re not doing it because we either are too afraid to start, we don’t believe in ourselves enough to try or we don’t believe that it will work out. At the end of the day, you could be great at something. It’s not what your parents did and what you went to school for. Your guidance counselor told you to go off and do something different, but you could be the best in the world of something, and you’re not because you don’t believe in yourself to chase it down.
When I first started on this, I didn’t start with believe because I didn’t know what I was doing. Your purpose comes from your pain. Whatever you struggle the most with as a human is what you want to help other people with. I’m creating all this stuff for nineteen-year-old Evan, who was struggling to get his first business off the ground. I know there are millions of people who are nineteen-year-old Evan now who need that help. I started doing it through techniques. It’s like, “Here’s what I did. Here are the steps. Here are steps 1, 2, and 3. Go follow these steps. You can do it too.” I am not a genius. I am introverted, shy, scared and afraid of disappointing people.
I was shocked to read that you’re an introvert and that you were shy because the Evan I first met was jumping on a trampoline and helping everybody on the call at Genius Network. I was surprised to hear that.
That was a big internal fight for my agent and me. I’ve got this hardcore New York Manhattan agent who books me on. He kicks my butt and tells me I suck all in a very loving but New York way. He’s very different than Canadians. He represents Grant Cardone, Mel Robbins and all these big people who have done amazing things.
Our biggest fight was he’s like, “Evan, your biggest problem is you don’t want to be famous.” Why is that a problem? That’s great. Why do I want to be famous? I’m introverted. I don’t need to be the guy. We fought for years on this until he explained it in a way. More likely, I was finally more receptive, or something happened that allowed me to hear it better where it’s not even about me. It’s about the message. The more people who know me get to hear the message.
Knowing you, Evan, you were uncomfortable with it being about you, but when you realized it was more about your gift that people needed, it was helpful to you. Many actors and actresses are introverted, and you’re shocked to hear that.
You don’t think about it when you look at it. When I look at YouTube videos or TV, you would see Kevin O’Leary, Mark Cuban, at least inside my world of entrepreneurship, Donald Trump or whoever. They appear at least to be very brushed, the center of the show, has to be heard and spotlights on them. That’s great, but I don’t connect to that. I don’t want to be that.
That’s distasteful to you because?
It’s not distasteful. It’s just I don’t connect to it. I don’t enjoy being the center of attention. It doesn’t do anything for me. Where it started to shift was I still wanted to serve. I still want to feel what I do matters to people. I wake up, and I’m having a meaningful impact. I had to learn to harness the power of the introvert and figure this stuff out as I go but also learn from other introverts.
I don’t like networking meetings. I hate small talk. I don’t talk to the guy next to me on the airplane, all of that stuff, but I love meaningful conversations. I see Patty Ann in my account, and I’m like, “This is going to be amazing. Let’s go.” How do you show up with that energy? I don’t know. Introverts still want to serve, have meaningful connections and feel what they do matters. The more I can tap into the energy and enthusiasm that is in everybody, it comes out. I wish I had known you a couple of years ago. Things would have been so much better.
What is it the teacher appears when the student is ready? I want to do a segue here, which is why I love talking with you because you never know where it’s going to go. Being an introvert, we believe in ourselves as being true to ourselves. We’re not changing who we are to serve others. We’re serving others as we are. Authenticity and genuineness are critical. How did you segue that to salsa dancing?
I never learned to dance. Growing up, I always felt awkward at a club or whatever dancing. In university, I decided I wanted to learn how to dance. I took a ballroom class with my then-girlfriend, not Nina. We signed up and took the class, and she never liked it. We went to a couple of lessons, and then she didn’t want to do it anymore. It was a class where you had to go with a partner. I didn’t have a partner, and I didn’t want to ask another girl to be my partner when I was in a relationship because it didn’t feel right. That’s the end of that. There were other things to do.
We ended up breaking up, and one of the things I said was, “I can go dancing again. Why don’t I go learn some dancing?” Salsa dancing is the easiest dance to be able to pick up as a solo person. When you’re dancing, it’s part of the culture to switch partners all the time. Even if you come as a married couple, it would still be normal to dance with other guys for you and other women for me. Some people stay together, but the culture is very interchangeable for the most part.
The ballroom is very specific. You’ve got your one partner, and Salsa is more of street dance. I fell in love with it. On paper, I’m too tall, take big steps, don’t speak Spanish, and didn’t learn this growing up. All of the things you would say are logical reasons you shouldn’t do it. A lot of us live in a world where we’re like, “I can’t do that. I shouldn’t do that.” Without ever even trying.
I wasn’t even very good at the beginning because of a lot of those reasons, but I loved it. There’s something about it that I was like, “This is amazing.” I signed up for two different schools to learn because I was a slow learner at it. I love meeting people and the connection. Learning a new skill that you thought was too difficult also is how you build belief in yourself to say, “I can’t do that,” but then you see that you can. It raises your belief level to do other things. That made me a better entrepreneur.
In parentheses, you had a growth mindset. It wasn’t what you were good at naturally. It was growing.
I have cultivated to and have gotten better at it over the years. I would not say I popped out of the womb with a growth mindset. There are things that are triggers for me now, three words, scary, difficult, and hard. If I say, think, and write those, I have to go do that thing because I want to challenge myself.
The fact that you suck at something doesn’t mean you suck as a human. In fact, it’s the opposite. The fact that you’re willing to try and suck at things makes you amazing.
Is it all together or one at a time?
Any of them. If you say, “Evan, you should go do X.” I say, “That’s hard.” I now got to do it because I don’t want to accept hard as a reason to not do it. There are some things with me that are easy to connect with, like introverted, shy, humble, Canadian, but there are others that are more difficult to connect with.
The Doritos bag is one of the more challenging things to connect with because that’s more of a hard push, where when you’re on a diet, the usual strategy is to get rid of junk food from your house. That’s what people always say. That’s a good first step, but you’re walking on crutches. When you break your leg, you use crutches, but your goal is to be able to walk, run and live a normal life. If you can only win when you’re in your perfect environment, what happens when you go on a cruise, office party or vacation? You’re pounding back the food.
It’s not about the diet. It’s a lifestyle change.
This is not something that I give of as a prescription because it’s harder for people to comprehend. Personally, getting rid of the Doritos is me telling myself that I can’t handle it, be around, and do it. I hate making decisions that make me feel worse about myself. If I needed to do it in the short term, it’s okay, but immediately, my brain was like, “I need to bring this back.” If I could not wake up to the alarm and people say, “Put the cellphone in the other room or the kitchen.” I hate that. If that was me, I’m going to have it right next to me, not hit snooze and get up.
Is that would represent a failure to you? It sounds like that like, “I can’t do it,” and you’re not going to fail.
The word failure doesn’t quite resonate, but it’s a version of failure. It’s a lack of belief.
I see what doesn’t work because your parents did give you permission to fail.
If I’m scared to come and do this show like, “I hope Patty Ann cancels on me. What am I going to answer? I’m nervous.” I feel my heartbeat. It’s a scary, difficult, and hardest one. The other is I have a boom boom test, which is if my heart is beaten out of my chest, that’s a physical manifestation of scary, difficult, and hard. It means I have to do that thing too.
I used to want people to cancel on me. If I saw you, I would say, “In two months, we’ll do this thing,” but I would see like, “I hope Patty Ann cancels it. I don’t want to disappoint her. This is going to be terrible.” That’s a physical sign that I have to go off and do it. Even if I showed up and vomited all over my microphone and the camera because I was nervous, I would still mentally reward myself to say, “You did the hard thing.”
You accepted the challenge, even if you didn’t knock it out of the park. I do want to comment on what you said about visceral. Anytime we have a visceral physical reaction, our body tells us what our mind forgot. Anytime we ignore that, we do ourselves a disservice. Bring in a full circle now with the salsa dancing.
The connection between what you learned to be vulnerable and to trust yourself, how that showed up in the salsa dancing? When you said you were not in the natural, it reminds me of me. I have never met anybody that sucked at sport so much as I sucked off and still love it. I don’t care that I’m terrible at it. I love and enjoy it. Whenever we start something, usually we’re not good at it. Even if we have a Michael Jordan talent, we still have to nurture that. That’s where belief, vulnerability and trust come in.
What I try to do when I start something is I expect to suck and be terrible. The difference that I had to evolve over time in my brain was the fact that being suck at something doesn’t mean that I suck as a human. It’s the opposite. The fact that I’m willing to try and suck at the thing makes me amazing as a human. This is what I’m telling myself. My Canadian to me is like, “Why am I saying I’m amazing as a human?” This is the actual conversation in my head. I expect what I do to suck at the beginning. This is where people struggle.
You want to start a YouTube channel. You might look at my channel or whoever’s got a big channel. If you’re going to start a show, “I’m not going to be Oprah Winfrey level yet. That’s fine. I don’t expect to be there.” If Oprah’s an A-plus, I expect to be like, “I’m a B-minus. I got some skills.” You go and do your first interview. You got nervous, you’re a total wreck, and the whole thing is a disaster.
You didn’t expect to be Oprah, but you didn’t expect to be an F either. You expected it to be a B-minus. You end up performing way worse than your own expectations. That’s where we often will quit. For me it’s, “I expect it to be an F. As long as I don’t vomit all over my microphone, this is a win. Let’s go.” It’s a skill. How do you get better at a skill? You got to practice. Don’t expect your first thing to be a home run, knock out of the park, or whatever analogy you want to use. Expect to suck. Let’s keep going.
When you mentioned golf or I mentioned salsa dancing, you keep going because you like it. You will get better at golf, you may never be PGA, but you’re better than you were a year ago. You know the difference between the clubs and know what a putter is. You’re better at it than you were before. Patty Ann now could tell Patty Ann a year ago some knowledge, and you keep going because you love it and it’s fun. It’s not about competing, but it’s about doing the thing, which was salsa dancing for me. That’s one category. The other category is I don’t even love it. I want to do it for the challenge of doing it and show myself that I do the challenges. An example is my salsa school.
What’s the school called?
It’s called Toronto Dance Salsa. Everything’s closed now because of COVID-19. Salsa dancing is the least COVID-19 friendly business on the planet because you’re dancing with strangers. My dance team won a local competition. It was mostly women. We took them to a nail salon to celebrate like, “We’ll pay for everybody to get the nails done.” They had a man manicure. I went and did the man manicure.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
One of the women joked. She said, “Are you going to get your nails done too, like the real manicure?” I’m like, “No.” That’s not an expression of me, which is the only actual acceptable answer. I don’t express myself that way, but a good chunk of the answer was, “I can’t do that.” That’s way too scary, and because that was even a quarter of the decision, now I had to do it. Not because I loved it and I love having my nails done, but because I was afraid of it subconsciously and came to my conscious, I had to say yes and do it.
What color? We have to know the color.
It was a match of my brand. I said, “Can you match my brand?” I was wearing my hoodie. I had it painted orange. I said, “Can you do racing stripes on it?” We put some racing stripes on it. I walked out with my nails painted. I immediately understood women with their nails painted because we first had to go to our car. I’m like, “I don’t want to get my nails ruined.” I asked Nina, “Can you open the car door for me? I don’t want to ruin these. You’re a pro, and I’m new.”
I’m going to my concierge downstairs to get my package, and I’m hiding my nails because I’m embarrassed. Now I got to put it out because I took a picture on Instagram and posted it with my nails. I’m like, “How are people going to see me? This is not who I am, but because I was afraid of it, I had to go off and do it.” In the beginning, the guys thought I was crazy, and the women loved it, who were on the dance team. Over the next couple of weeks, the nails started to chip.
All my women friends were saying, “Evan, your nails are chipping. You need to either take it off or go do it again.” That was love coming from them, but in my own mind, I thought, “This is another challenge, and because people think that way, I am going to keep it on all the way until it chips to zero.” It looked like I had some infectious disease on my nails. They’re like, “Why are some of your hands orange?”
I wanted to teach myself to beat the potential judgment because, at least in my own head, as long as I’m making decisions based on other people’s expectations of me, then I lose. That’s where a lot of belief comes. Yes to golf, salsa dancing and things that we end up enjoying and loving. We do it because we love and enjoy it.
The weird and crazy part of me is the yes and because. If not yes, feel the fear and do it anyway. If yes, feel the fear and do it because that exists, because I’m afraid, because you might judge me, and that bothers me. I want to go off and attack it. People will ask, “How does that relate to business?” It’s because I’m afraid of getting on stage, making content and asking somebody for something. It’s the same fear as the nails.
It’s not someone’s monumental moment. It’s a daily fight that we have with ourselves to build credibility and prove that we are the person we say we are and want to stay consistent and congruent with that. I’m constantly looking at different things. Anytime I can catch myself and feel this is a decision that is making me feel worse or weaker about myself, I have to go off and do it just because.
There’s an expression something along the lines of courage is not the absence of fear, but you show courage despite the fear. You do it anyway. For the readers that can relate to not believing in themselves, can’t do it right and will fail, what is the one initial takeaway you can give them that helped you overcome that, “This is hard, now I have to do it?” What’s the one thing you can share with them?
I would give you a 1A and 1B, but my 1A would be, expect to suck. It’s not going to work. Don’t expect to pick up golf. You watch golf on TV, see these people do it, men and women are crushing it, and it’s awesome. Look at how hard that can be, but you have no idea what you’re doing. You don’t even hit the ball. I remember I’m hitting the grass. How do you even hit the ball?
Expect to suck because when you do suck and then reward the fact that you try, instead of rewarding the result, it’s rewarding the effort that you showed up, tried, and did the difficult thing. That’s where self-belief comes from. If you only reward the winning, you stay small for life because you only do things that you know you’re going to win it.
In life and business, you hear nobody rewards effort. They reward results. You are turning that around. Reward the effort.
That’s true in a business context in terms of getting results, but in terms of your own, I flip it internally because the more you reward the effort and keep going, the more you will get the results. Do the results matter? Of course. How do you get the momentum to keep getting the results? You have to have the encouragement, courage and permission to start.
The people who succeed the most have failed the most. We’re so afraid to fail that we don’t even try. Your business value will come from the results that you’re getting. Your self-worth value comes from the effort that you’re putting in. If you only do things where you know you’re going to win, you play small for life, and you end up hating your life because now you’re inside your comfort zone, doing all the stuff that you know you can win.
You can go, “Could you beat a bunch of three-year-olds in a race?” Yes. Congratulations. Post it on Instagram, showcase how awesome you are, and then cry in the bathroom hating your life because you’re not doing anything that you feel challenged by but by doing the challenging things, you will lose, fail, and not get results at the beginning. How do you keep going? You say, “I’m awesome for trying.” If you keep doing that, you will eventually get it.
1A is expect to suck. What is 1B?
It is model success. Having an environment around you that makes you feel hope is possible matters. I was super fortunate to have parents who gave me air cover, gave the shield and who helped me believe in myself. If you don’t have that, go build it for yourself. We’re in the age of the internet. Subscribe to Patty Ann’s show. You’ll get that injection every time she releases an episode.
You can now choose who you’re letting into your head. We let in a lot of negative voices. That voice of yours that tells you, “You can’t do this. You suck.” That’s not even your voice. That was planted in you. That’s somebody else’s voice. Patty Ann is the expert here, but this is what I tell myself. I wasn’t born thinking I suck. That was put in my head by people around me, media, and what I consume. I can flip it by being around positive and belief.
Business value comes from the results that you’re getting. Your self-worth value comes from the effort that you’re putting in.
It’s why I share so much positive content in what I try to create every day. It’s why I got goosebumps at the beginning when you said, “What you’re doing for the world is what your mom and parents did for you.” That’s the goal and the intent. You can choose, do an audit, look at who you follow on YouTube, Instagram and podcasts. Do they make you feel better about yourself?
When you close that video, do you feel better or worse about yourself? Unfollow the people who make you feel worse. If you’re watching Instagram and you’re FOMOing out that all these people have all these great things and your life sucks, you can unfollow those people. Patty Ann has an Instagram account. Go follow her. You’re going to feel better about yourself.
What you’re saying is toxicity breeds toxicity, positivity breeds positivity, and you’re 1,000% about how we speak to ourselves. The important thing for people to remember is that our brain doesn’t know what’s true or not. Whatever we tell ourselves, it will come to fruition. I have two important questions before we go. What is a major misconception people have about you that you would prefer not to correct?
What I love about this you and I was so excited about this is you’re going to ask me questions that I have not answered before. You force my brain to hemorrhage a little bit and try to find the answers. I would much rather pull back the curtain on things. I don’t appreciate or even respect enough of the things that are in my story that could be inspiring because that was just my life. That’s not anything super special, but you uncovering it or other people uncovering, it’s like, “I get a chance to share something else.” The way that I share this time is the way that has the impact that I’m after. I would much rather be a more open book like, ”Here’s how I suck at a million different things,” than the other way.
What is the number one thing you learned in life that you want people to know?
It’s a lack of belief. Everything you want out of life is possible if you believe in it more. It doesn’t mean just pray, and it’s going to come true. You got to do the work. It’s all possible. I’ll give you two quick tactical things that might help because believe can be airy-fairy. One of the best pieces of advice that Mel Robbins gave me was that jealousy is a directional signal. Whatever you’re jealous of, there’s something in that person that you like and want more of yourself.
It may not be the exact way that they did it. Steve Jobs is on my wall because I love how he built his business. He’s a visionary, but he’s not a father like my father. I want to be visionary like Steve and a father like my father, not the other way around. If you’re struggling to figure out what you want out of life and where you want to go, look at who you’re jealous of and try to pinpoint what is the thing that you’re jealous of because that’s a directional signal towards creating a better life yourself.
What I tell how people are things that might bother you might not bother me and vice versa. Many times, things that we’re critical of with another person, there’s some truth to that for ourselves. It’s very similar to what you said.
The other one that helps in terms of belief is that the ideas that come to you when you feel bold, powerful, and courageous are the right ones for you. If you’re reading and you’re feeling pumped up like, “This is amazing.” You’ve raised your energy level. Whatever comes to your mind next, I believe, is the right thing for you, and your brain starts getting in the way and tells you all the reasons why you can’t do it.
When you go on vacation or when you’re with your friend, we have these moments where we get pulled up, where we feel like, “Things are possible.” You come up with these great ideas for yourself. It’s not even telling your friends or your family about this idea and them telling you that it sucks. It’s ourselves telling ourselves that we can’t do it, “I’m going to launch this show. I’m amazing. I have all these people on. We’re going to spread all this goodness in the world.”
You wake up the next day, and you’re like, “I can’t do that. Are you kidding me? What gear am I going to buy? I suck on camera. I’m the most introverted person. Who did I think I was that I could do that?” That’s where we’re living by default. What I have tried to do is you shortcut that where I’m getting an idea. I trust that ideas that come to me are good, and I do something about it as long as I’m in a positive state.
When you’re in a negative state, you’re feeling anger, rage, or jealousy. Don’t trust those instincts because you’re going to do something that you regret, but that’s what we end up doing. When we’re in a negative state, we listen to our negative intuition and do something stupid, but when we’re in our positive, upbeat, courageous state, and we get these ideas, we don’t do it and regret that the next day, the next year, the next month, etc. When you feel bold, powerful, courageous, unstoppable, happy, and an idea comes to you, trust that the idea is good for you, and you have to do something about it.
For most people, it’s an uncomfortable place to be. Maybe they’re more afraid than they are trusting and believing in themselves. That’s why they act on fear because it’s a comfortable, familiar feeling, but the positive stuff is not as comfortable and familiar. That’s why they need you to believe in themselves.
It could be trigger words like comfort and fear. Those are not good enough reasons. It’s not anymore. The fact that it’s comfortable, scary, difficult, or hard is not a good enough reason. We’ve accepted them as a good enough reason. I’m afraid of that. Most of the things we’re afraid of are not like, “Don’t go jumping out of an airplane without a parachute.” That’s stupid.
Most of the things that we’re afraid of are other people’s opinions. It’s not even fear-failing. It’s fear of failing in front of somebody else. You’ll sing in the shower, but you won’t sing on the street corner. Why? It’s because you might fail in public, and people will see. I’m still learning and doing this. It’s a daily battle, but it teaches you to believe more in yourself anytime you can catch it.
As life goes on, it’s a process and journey, so people can always grow in their belief in themselves. Thank you so much, Evan, for all of the wisdom that you shared with us. We are so privileged to have had you. For everybody reading, this concludes this episode. Since I know you enjoyed all of Evan’s wisdom, I would love for you to like, comment, share and subscribe to this show. See you next time.
Important Links
- Evan Carmichael
- YouTube – Evan Carmichael
- Genius Network
- Toronto Dance Salsa
- Instagram – Patty Ann Tublin
- https://www.Facebook.com/EvanCarmichaelcom
- https://www.Instagram.com/EvanCarmichael
- Your One Word
- The Top 10 Rules for Success
- 254 Confidence
- Built to Serve
- Take THIS QUICK TEST and FIND OUT How to CHANGE Your LIFE in 2021! | Tony Robbins Interview – Youtube
- You’re Doing THIS DAILY and It’s Costing You a FORTUNE! | Matthew McConaughey Interview – Youtube
- How to Take Control of Your MIND! | Deepak Chopra Interview | #ModelTheMasters – Youtube
About Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael is an Internet entrepreneur. Evan Carmichael believes in entrepreneurs. Gary Vaynerchuck called him the DJ who inspires people and Ed Mylett called him the modern day Napoleon Hill. At age 19, he built and sold a biotech software company. At age 22, he was a venture capitalist helping startups raise funds ranging from $500,000 to $15 million.
Evan Carmichael runs a YouTube channel for entrepreneurs with up to 2 million subscribers and 300 million views, wrote 4 books, and speaks globally. He wants to solve the world’s biggest problem, people don’t #Believe in themselves enough. Forbes named him one of the world’s top 40 social marketing talents and Inc. named him one of the 100 great leadership speakers and 25 social media Keynote speakers you need to know. He’s set 2 world records, uses a trampoline & stand-up desk, owns Canada’s largest salsa dance studio where he met his wife and has a giant Doritos bag in front of him all day long to remind him that he’s stronger than the Doritos. Toronto is his home. He’s a husband, father, TSM Fan and Teemo main.
Evan Carmichael now runs EvanCarmichael.com, a website to help entrepreneurs. He graduated from the University of Toronto and enjoys salsa dancing, DJing, and rooting for the Toronto Blue Jays.
