The Marriage Ref Review for April 29, 2010

The Marriage Ref aired Thursday April 29th, on NBC.  The featuring guests were Sarah Silverman, Matthew Broderick, Martin Short. Tom Papa is, of course The Marriage Ref.

Here’s my review:

Comments on Therman and Tee. Should Tee have sex more frequently with Therman, as he so desperately wants?

The issue about frequency of sex for couples comes up ALL the time in my work as a relationship expert and I have written extensively about romance, intimacy and sex in relationships. It is important to know that there is no specific number of times a week a couple “should” have sex. The whole “competition” thing couples engage in of I’ll give you sex in return for you giving me “whatever” is ludicrous and has no place in a healthy intimate relationship.

I agree with The Marriage Ref’s call. Tee does not have to succumb to her husband’s constant desire (or is it demand?) for sex! Sex is one of the byproducts of an intimate relationship. In this relationship, I don’t see Therman being nor doing anything very intimate with his wife. You can’t expect sex if you do not have intimacy in your relationship. So get with the program Therman and bring some romance into your relationship outside the bedroom and then let’s see what happens inside the bedroom!

Comments on Guy & Amber. Is it okay for Amber to have a “guy” as a friend?

This is a classic question: “Can men and women just be friends”? To be completely honest, I have always had male friendships. If you are both clear that your relationship is strictly platonic – it is a non-starter to question if men and women can just be friends. It’s really fun to have a true friend of the opposite sex. It gives you the opportunity to get opinions on things from a totally different perspective, since we know men and women think differently.

I disagree with The Marriage Ref’s call – Amber should be friends with whomever she wants; and the same is true for Guy. Both partners should respect each other’s desire for whom the other wants to be friends with. If you feel threatened by whom your partner is friends with – and this is true with friendships of the same sex as well, you need to deal with your own insecurity. Do you always like all your wife’s female friends? If not, is she disrespecting you because she does not stop being friends with them because you don’t like them? No – she is merely allowing you not to control her. Totally different issue. I can hear cries of disagreement out there and that is okay. I am just giving you my expert opinion. You can be heading down a very slippery slope if your partner begins controlling whom you can be friends with under the guise of respecting their wishes. Trust is the basis for any healthy relationship and unless you have any sound reason not to – you must trust each other’s choices in friends as you would in anything else.

Comments on Mario & Debbie – coffee issues for Debbie and bathroom issue for Mario

As an unrepentant coffee drinker, I believe you must have your coffee fresh, whether at home or in a restaurant. Let me share a quick story. My husband used to ask me why I (a coffee lover) never drank coffee in his mother’s home when we first started dating. The reason was my mother-in-law used to re-heat up coffee in a microwave (OMG). I really loved my mother-in-law but I couldn’t stand her coffee.

I disagree with The Marriage Ref’s call for Debbie. Debbie wins this argument in my relationship expert opinion. She should be allowed to get a fresh cup of coffee when she is out at a restaurant; however, this woman should also learn some manners and speak to the waiter politely when she is asking for her a new cup of coffee from a fresh pot. The waiters know when they are serving you something, especially coffee that is not fresh – so be polite. Remember – everything you need to know in life you learned in kindergarten – like manners!

I agree with The Marriage Ref’s call for Mario. He should not be spending 2 hours in the bathroom every morning. Are you kidding me? I grew up in a home with 5 kids, 2 adults and 1 bathroom – we would be literally banging down the door if someone took more than 2 minutes – let alone 2 hours. And for the record, my guess is Mario is shaving his chest in there. Just a guess.

Best line of the show this week: “I play “call of duty” because I can’t play “call of booty”.

Check out next week’s review and comments as Dr. Patty Ann – “The Relationship Expert” makes her “Call” on the Marriage Ref’s Call!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann

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