How can a topic which is written and talked about so often have so much mis-information attached to it? It is fairly safe to say the subject of sex practically consumes us as a society. I don’t think there is one issue of any women’s magazine that doesn’t contain at least one article about sex! (Now don’t quote me here – you know what I mean). TV, internet and radio shows offer countless shows and programs offering a ton of sexual information.
In spite of our obsession with the topic and the deluge of information, there is so much false information floating around out there I thought it might be a little helpful to separate fact from fiction when it comes to a few issues about sex. So here goes.
- If you have to schedule sex with your partner it can’t possible be good!! What?? If you have to wait for a spontaneous moment or the “right” time to have sex while holding down a job, raising your children, cooking dinner, cleaning your house, etc, etc, etc, chances are pretty good that the “right time”- is never going to happen! So the question really becomes: “Is it better to have scheduled sex or no sex at all?” I don’t think anyone needs a relationship expert to answer that one!
- Great sex is not defined only by having an orgasm! There is this whole myth out there that reaching orgasm defines great sex! Not true. The goal of great sex is to create a special intimate moment between you and your partner – emotionally, physically and spiritually! Sure, orgasm can be a natural extension and expression of intimate moments – but it does not define it! Therefore, the best way for any couple to define great sex is to communicate what intimacy means for you – both physically and emotionally, and have your specific needs and desires determine what great sex means for you!
- The longer sex lasts the better it is. Sex isn’t meant to be an act of endurance – it is meant to be a moment and expression of intimacy! I hate to break it to you (especially to you guys) but current research suggests the average length of sex lasts anywhere from 3 to 10 minutes – anything longer than that is, by definition, not average. Hopefully this little bit of information takes some pressure off of you couples who are not having marathon sexual interludes! (psst – nobody else is, on a regular basis either)!
Remember, sexual intercourse is not the only act a couple can engage in to feel close and loved by each other. Foreplay, which can include tender moments of kissing, massaging each other and even pillow talk, is a great way to express love, intimacy and passion between you and your partner.
I am not endorsing the “road runner” version of sexual intimacy here; I am just de-bunking the myth of 12- hour sexual escapades day in and day out!! For more information on how to have more intimacy and better sex in your relationship, check out Dr. Patty Ann’s “Relationship Toolbox”.
I really hope this information helped dispel some sexual myths floating around out there. It just never ceases to amaze me how much false information one can have about a topic the media seems to be consumed with.
Just wanted to do my part as your relationship expert to provide some truthful, honest and helpful information to you about a subject that is close to my heart!!
Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,