Everyone is living their own story, they just need to share it with the people around them. That is the magic of storytelling, you have the power to impact the lives of others. That is how you can start living a meaningful life. The Lion King did not become one of the best animated movies of all time because people like lions. They like the message of the film because it can relate to a lot of people. The same can be said about other movies like E.T. or Schindler’s List. Try to wake up everyday with goal to make a positive impact on as many people as you can. Join Dr. Patty Ann Tublin as she sits down with Saul Blinkoff (@saulblinkoff), about choosing to share your stories with the world. Saul began his career as an animator of Walt Disney where he worked on films like Pocahontas, Mulan, & Tarzan. He is also worked for both Netflix and Dreamworks. Saul now speaks around the world about living a meaningful life. He is also the host the inspirational podcast; Life of AWESOME! Listen in so you can experience what the power of storytelling can do and why people can relate to great characters. Discover how you can live a more meaningful life by setting boundaries for yourself and technology. And learn how being empathetic is about having responsibility. Start taking responsibility for the world today!
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Listen to the podcast here
Living A Life Of Meaning With Storytelling With Saul Blinkoff
Based on the three-second conversation I had with our guest, you are going to be blown away by this guy. He is so down-to-earth, successful, and humble. I cannot wait for you to hear his pearls of wisdom. Before we do that, make sure you like, comment, share, and subscribe to this show. I am briefly going to introduce our guest because when this episode is over, you can Google this guy and his attributes and his success will read pages and pages. If you’ve ever heard of Disney, Tinkerbell, Netflix, and DreamWorks, then you are watching and listening to the work and genius of our guest Saul Blinkoff. Thank you so much, Saul, for coming on. I’m so excited about this interview.
Patty, thank you so much for that introduction. You mentioned those companies that I’ve been fortunate to work with. Hearing you say them, my brain goes, “Did I really work there? Do I get to live my dream job? I can’t believe it.” Thank you for highlighting those. It’s a thrill to be here with you and your audience. Thanks for having me.
You’re welcome. Maybe you came in the back door, but you still got it.
That’s right. I still make it to the table.
I would like to start our conversation by talking about storytelling because rumor has it that you are the world’s premier storyteller. We all talk about storytelling now but years ago, nobody knew what that meant. Pray tell.
First of all, I’m not the world’s premier anything other than a dad to four kids and a husband to my wife, and I have a puppy. When people hear the word storytelling, they’re thinking of books and movies. The truth is each one of us is not only living our own story. Each one of us should feel compelled to share our story with another person. Only when you do that do you connect with another person.
I’ll give you an example. I’m a filmmaker and a director. Let’s talk about The Shawshank Redemption. Frank Darabont, the director, is standing on the shoulders of Stephen King’s short story. There’s a message that he wanted to share with the world. Here’s the message, “Get busy living or get busy dying.” What he’s telling us through that movie is life is a choice, and each one of us has the choice to choose life. You could feel every day like your life is in a prison, “I can’t move. I have no hope,” or you could feel like everyday life has the potential to grow. You can be in a prison but in your mind, you could be free. You could be out in the world free and in your mind, you could be in prison.
As a director, you don’t stand in front of an audience of hundreds of people and say, “I have a message for you. Life is a choice. Get busy living or get busy dying.” Instead, as filmmakers or storytellers, what we do is say to our audiences, especially in the cinematic world, “I want you to shut off your phone. I want you to sit in this black room with the lights out. You’re going to watch this glowing screen for two hours. You’re going to cry when I manipulate you to cry. You’re going to laugh when I manipulate you to laugh. You will not walk out of here knowing a theme. You will walk out of here experiencing or feeling the message.” That’s the magic of storytelling.
Here comes the other part I want to share. When we’re sitting in the theater watching a movie or we’re reading a book, the only way that the message of that book or the theme as I’m calling it is going to impact us is if we can relate to the protagonist or the main character. The only way to relate to the main character is I need to be able to relate to them. I need to be able to see myself in them. If you’re reading this and you’re like, “I don’t make my career as a storyteller. I’m not an author. I’m not a filmmaker.”
If you want to connect with anyone in any way in relationships, you have to make space in yourself for another person and allow them to connect with you. The only way to do that is to be vulnerable. Let them see the real deal. The best main characters in any story are all flawed. They’re not super. Superman isn’t the most successful comic character of all time. He was too perfect. Spiderman is much more successful. He’s flawed. He has acne and challenges. If someone’s going to connect with us, we have to be vulnerable. That intimacy is an extension of vulnerability. That’s what intimacy is. All intimacy is, “I feel comfortable to be vulnerable with you.” That’s the message.
Get busy living or get busy dying. Life is a choice and each one of us has the choice to choose life.
Let’s see if we can unravel that. You talked about vulnerability and intimacy. You talked about giving a message. As a relationship expert and someone that works with trust, coaching and consulting with people in business, without trust, we can’t have a connection. We cannot create trust without being vulnerable. People like flawed characters because they can relate to them. We all know we’re not perfect, no matter what facade we might put out.
We may not admit it but we know it. We may not admit to others we’re not perfect. We like the facade on Facebook where I show my perfect self but deep down, we know we’re flawed.
We get the highlights on Facebook. I could tell you stories about that. People put up, “This is my beautiful husband. We’re married for so many years,” but I know for a fact that you hate this guy.
I’m going to date myself here. When you said that I immediately went to All In The Family and imagined what Archie Bunker’s Facebook would have looked like, “They’re such a lovely little old couple,” or the Costanzas in Seinfeld.
People loved All In The Family, which you couldn’t make now, but we are not going to go there. He was so vulnerable and flawed.
You knew who he was.
Let’s go back to making the connection and the relationships because you’re right. We went to New York City and we saw Come From Away. As a native New Yorker, I feel like the rest of the country hasn’t completely forgotten 9/11, all these years. It’s a whole other conversation. What they did was they were able to create a connection with the audience. You leave there feeling so moved.
You talked about a choice. As soon as you went to the choice, I went right to Man’s Search For Meaning. Who survived the concentration camps? The people that made a choice to live. They had a reason greater than themselves. Viktor Frankl survived and went on to become a psychiatrist. I’m sure you’re familiar with this. He wanted to know who survived. It wasn’t the strongest or smartest. It was someone that had a reason. They had a why. I’ll never forget this part where he talks about a set of twin girls. He asked each of them separately, “How did you survive this deprivation and the worst of humanity?” Both of them separately said, “I had to live because I knew if I die, it would have killed my sister.”
The relationship was tantamount to life. To your point, it’s exactly right. If you’re not living and learning, you’re dying. Let me ask you a question. As a filmmaker who knows how to touch the hearts of their audience, why on God’s green earth does it feel as if everybody, society or communities are making such poor choices? What is going on?
This is not the average show. This is one of the most beautiful questions I’ve ever been asked. It’s wonderful. Let’s go back for a minute to the two girls in the camps during the Holocaust. When one was asked, “How did you keep going?” She goes, “I knew what was at stake was the life of another human being.”
The title of the book was Man’s Search for Meaning. I want to highlight that for a moment. If you ask 99% of the world, “What is your goal in life?” Without blinking an eye, most people would say, “I know what I want. I want to be happy.” Everybody wants to be happy. As a matter of fact, that’s what we say to each other on New Year’s Eve, “I’m giving you a blessing to celebrate life. I have a blessing for you. I want you to have a year of happiness.” How do we think we’re going to be happy? “When I get this, my soulmate, my career, the bank account, the new house, or whatever it is.”
For most people, happiness is dependent on outside experiences, but happiness is a mindset. Happiness is a choice. One of the messages that I try to remind myself daily, my kids, and the people that I speak to is, “Don’t go for a life of happiness. There’s something sweeter and that’s a life of meaning.” The only way to accomplish a meaningful life is to say, “How can I serve another person? How can I impact another person?”
Ultimately, what makes you happy may not be what’s good for you. Think about that for a moment. When I was a kid, I wanted candy bars. I was eleven years old and I said, “Someday, I’m going to have a job. I’m going to make money. I’m going to fill my drawers with candy bars.” I worked in Hollywood and I spent my career as a Disney animator and director. When I was in college, I was trying to get into Disney.
Where did you go to school?
I went to school in Columbus, Ohio at the Columbus College of Art and Design. After my second try to get into Disney, I got rejected again. It was incredibly competitive. They picked about 15 or 17 students a year out of over 4,000 portfolios a year. The odds are whoever is trying, you’re not going to get in.
Is this for animation?
Yes. There was no Pixar or DreamWorks then. If you wanted a job in animation, it was Disney. That was the best. I will never forget one day, my twin sister, Rina calls me. My sister says, “How is it going? I feel so bad you didn’t make it. You didn’t get in.” I was so down on myself and I remember saying to my sister one thing. I said, “Rina if I could get into Disney and sit at that desk and draw the same picture of Mickey Mouse every single day for the rest of my life, I would be happy.” That’s what I needed to be happy.
If I could go back in a time machine now to myself at that age, I would tell myself, “Saul, grow up. You think life is about how can you approach every day to get what’s going to make you happy.” Think about children if you’re a parent. When our kids are young, they wake up every day and they have that feeling of, “I want to get this and that.” The most selfish human beings in the world are babies because they’re learning.
It’s age-appropriate. The problem is when the adults are acting like that.
That’s the problem. When we become teenagers, that’s the part where every day, hopefully, through nurturing, parenting, teachers and our environment, we learned that meaning comes from not waking up every day and going, “What can I get?” It’s, “What can I give?” My wife and I have a quote that we love. It’s a Winston Churchill quote. He’s got the best quotes. He said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”
Intimacy is really an extension of vulnerability.
One of the things that I subscribe to is this, “In order to have a life of meaning, I’m not saying hard at something so you can impact another person and you will. You may not make the biggest impact, but if you’re striving for that, you will have a meaningful life.” I have a podcast called Life of Awesome. I bring on an interview with George Foreman, the boxer. Some people know him as The Grill Guy.
You’re a podcast host. You do your research before you bring the guest on. I know George won an Olympic gold medal in boxing. He then became Heavyweight Champion of the World. Twenty years later, he came out of retirement and became the oldest to achieve that accolade again, Heavyweight Champion of the World. That was a big deal. He was old and overweight. People made fun of him. No one thought he could do it but he get the last laugh. He did it. He made $138 million in his first year for the Foreman Grill. The guy is successful. I would have him on my podcast because he’s an Olympian who won a gold medal. That’s enough of a reason. I would have him on for just being the heavyweight boxer or as an entrepreneur in business.
I bring him on and I list all of his accolades in the intro, “George, you’re this and that. You’re a father, grandfather, and great-grandfather.” The first thing out of his mouth after I list all this is, “Saul, the thing I’m most proud of on that list is being a great grandfather.” I was like, “That’s the thing you’re most proud of? You’re George Foreman. You’re famous for money, boxing, grills, and all this stuff.” He’s over 70 years old and the first thing he says after that is, “Saul, I feel like the best is yet to come. I haven’t even gotten started yet.” I’m like, “Wow.”
You brought me on and said in the intro, “Saul, you’ve worked here and there.” I’m like, “I’ve done a lot.” I patted myself on the back. George Foreman has achieved so much more and he’s like, “I haven’t done anything. I’m getting going.” I’m like, “What am I doing?” At the end of the interview, I asked him, “George, what’s the legacy you want your kids to remember? What’s the legacy you want the world to remember about you?” Without batting an eye, he said, “Saul, I want people to remember that I love human beings. I love humanity. When I walked down the street and I saw somebody and I would smile at them, it could make an impact on their day.”
I edited the episode and I’m about to publish it. I made myself a bagel with a schmear of cream cheese and whitefish salad because I’m from New York. I had on YouTube on the computer playing the fight from the night he was twenty years old and he became Heavyweight Champion of The World against Smoking Joe Frazier. It was playing in the background. I’ve already finished the episode but I haven’t published it yet.
As I’m listening, the fight goes to the end and I discovered gold. I discover something so unbelievable that I spit out my bagel. I’m like, “What did I just see?” Think about this moment. He becomes Heavyweight Champion of The World and he’s twenty years old. At that moment, he went from being poverty-stricken to a gazillionaire. He beats Smoking Joe Frazier, his idol. What that must have felt like emotionally? The first thing that must have been circulating in his mind is, “Holy cow. I’m changing my life. Look what I’ve done. Look what I can now do with this money.”
His life changed two minutes after. Some sports announcer comes up to him. George is standing in the ring and all these people around him. He comes up to him and puts a microphone in his face. He says, “George, now that you’ve become Heavyweight Champion of The World, what’s next for you?” Without batting an eye, George says, “I want to tell all the kids out there that you can achieve your dream.” That’s the first thing he’s thinking, not the second.
The first thing out of his mouth isn’t, “Thank you. I did it. I worked hard.” The first thing that he’s feeling is, “I want to use this position. I’m in to impact another human being. I want to tell the kids out there that you can achieve anything.” When he says that, the sports announcer doesn’t like the answer. He’s like, “No, George. I mean in the ring. What’s next for you in the ring?” George says, “The world is my ring. I’m going to deliver this message every day of my life.”
At twenty years old, he had clarity on what is important in life. Don’t wake up every day and think, “What can I get?” If you do, you will always be beholden to feeling something based on outside experiences. Wake up every day and say, “How can I contribute to humanity? How can I make a life by giving to another human being?” That’s the life of meaning. That’s what we saw in the two sisters. What gave her that life is, “I got to take care of her, not me.” When we put our focus not on ourselves but on another person, that is energizing and motivates us to grow and live.
I didn’t know this about George Foreman and I have to listen to that episode. I like him so much more now. It reminds me of an African soccer player, I could be wrong. I’ve noticed a lot of press on him. He is one of the best soccer players in the world. I love sports but I’m not a soccer fan because I’m not European. Apparently, he is one of the best in the world. I’m sure some in the audience know who he is. He walks through the street and you wouldn’t know who he was.
In Africa, people die when you lose. They take it very seriously. He has a ton of money and walks like a regular person and he carries his bag. People said, “Don’t you want a yacht?” He goes, “I don’t need anything. I need the people from my village to be able to eat, live and be educated.” I am embarrassed. I don’t remember the man’s name.
Isn’t that incredible?
It is. We would do well to take a page from his book. To bring it full circle though, I feel somewhere along the way, if you talk to people that grew up during World War II, I’m not saying that post-World War II was the be-all end-all, but people came back from a horrific world war. People lied about their age to be able to fight to save the world from fascism. There was so much about giving for a greater cause than yourself. One of the reasons for that is because there was a sense of service.
When I grew up, we had nothing. My father, when he was still alive, did so much volunteering. They were always giving. Everybody’s kid was in our railroad flat in Brooklyn. We didn’t know we didn’t have anything. It was before reality TV. We didn’t want anything but we learned how to serve. We learned that this is the way you do things.
That’s not happening now.
How did we lose that? It’s not just us. It seems as if the world is all about, “Me, me, me.” We need people like you to bring it back.
I’m making my effort in my small way. We need everyone to bring it back. I’ll say a couple of things about that. When someone says, “Someone has certain values.” What are their values? I tell people when they’re dating, “Make sure you find out what their values are. What are their values or what is it that they value? What do they value? Where do they spend their money? Where do they spend their time?”
I firmly believe that the values that build a person and the values that someone embraces come from their parents. It comes from their home life. Is it instilled from the beginning? That’s number one, but let me take it a step further because you asked me a good question, “What happened along the way?” You have parents out there who do value giving. Maybe their kids aren’t as giving as they did. We are losing it for a generation. Here is why I think that’s happening. It’s happening because of the advent of the growth of technology, which is huge in the last ten years.
It’s revolutionary.
Whatever, 50 years of technology growth, we get that in five months now. With the advent of technology, the facts are that technology allows us to accomplish whatever our goals are with much less resistance. Everything is easier now. Shopping on Amazon is a game-changer for my lifestyle. I can buy socks or whatever. Think of all the hours we’ve spent if you remember pre-Amazon. We’re dating ourselves. You had to go to one store and then another store to find it.
Wake up every day and say, “How can I contribute to humanity?”
Years ago, when my kids were still home, I used to joke and open up my computer on my kitchen table. I say, “I’m going to go shopping. Let me get my coat. Let me get ready,” and then I log in.
With the advent of this technology, we can have what we want quicker and faster, and have much more opportunities for it. You can have food from your favorite restaurant delivered. You can stay in bed with an iPhone and not have to move, and you could work. When I was starting at Disney, I worked 9:00 to 5:00, at least at the beginning until we got to overtime when I was an animator on the film Mulan. That was fourteen-hour days but that’s another story. At the end of the day, when you left the office, you were done. Nobody could get you. You didn’t have an email. No one had an email. You had a work phone.
You come in the next day and you see that little red light on your phone, “I have a message” or someone get you, whatever. Even before that, there were no messages. You were done. Now, if you’re the kind of parent, husband or wife and you’re like, “I’m going to come home and I’m going to separate work from home. I’m going to set up a fence. I’m not going to go into my technology when I get home. I’m going to be with my kids. I’m going to be with my spouse.” Guess what? You’re going to get fired because everyone else in your group is accessible 24/7.
I do think COVID has changed that but I get your point.
You can work from home but what I’m saying is people have expectations that you’re going to read their texts and emails all night long 24/7. I’m Jewish and observant. My family observes the Shabbat.
I saw that. I saw you were hanging out.
We keep Shabbat. For anyone here, Jewish or not Jewish, the Sabbath for us is an opportunity to shut off our phones, shut off our technology, unplug and disconnect in order to connect with what’s real. Jewish or not, the greatest prescription you could offer any human being is to set up a fence for your time and shut off those devices for one day a week.
If you’re a doctor and it’s life and death, that’s a different thing, but it’s the boundaries. I come home on a Tuesday night from DreamWorks.It’s a great fun cool job. It’s still work. It’s still hard. It’s still a job. I’m sitting at the dinner table and I get that phone call from work, “I got to go. Guys, daddy’s got to work.” We’re in the car and I get a call from one of my producers or something, I’m like, “Guys, quiet. Daddy’s on a call.”
What my kids get from that is, “We’re important, but when work call comes in, we take a back seat,” but guess what? Friday night, I shut off my iPhone, iPad and iMac. My wife makes a beautiful dinner. We sit as a family and no devices at the table. Whether you’re doing a Sabbath or not, we’re keeping our devices away. Guess what we do? Get ready for this. This is revolutionary. We talk to each other. Can you imagine that?
If you have teenagers, they’ll get used to it. If you’re paying their phone bill, they don’t have the right to say they have the phone all the time. You tell them, “These are the fences for this family. This is how we do it.” If you’re going out to eat, leave your phone at home. I don’t mean to silence it. Actually leave it at home. Answering what you’re asking, “What’s changing?” Technology is forcing us to live in a world where we have what we want sooner and quicker. We all know that’s real. The by-product of that is going to be that we’re going to lose something if we allow it to happen. We’re going to lose the ability to connect and value our time. We have to set up parameters and fences to protect that or we’re going to be in trouble.
We are. We have no delayed gratification.
There’s none. This happens to me all the time, someone will call me or email me and say, “There’s a new show on Netflix that you got to watch.” Have you heard that phrase?
Sure.
Someone calls you, “You got to watch Breaking Bad. You got to watch Homeland. You haven’t seen Homeland? Are you crazy? Watch it.” The person is like, “I got to go home and binge that show.” Just because there’s a great show out there doesn’t mean you need to watch it. Who said the goal of life is to watch every great show? There is one show out there that I will say everyone should watch. It’s one of the most emotional incredible shows ever. It’s not one of mine. When you watch this show, I promise you that you will grow as a human being. You will be a better father, mother, son, daughter or parent. I’m telling you how I see it. The show is called This Is Us. Have you seen it?
No, but everybody tells me to.
It’s an incredible show but I’m not going to spoil anything.
Why? What is it about the show? There is so much out there but you are giving this your seal of approval.
That show shines a light on all the emotions that we will feel throughout our lives. I’ve never seen anything like this, not even come close to the emotions that this delves into. Let me explain what I mean. Imagine you have that feeling of young love, the butterflies. It’s great. That’s a positive emotional experience, but what about six months later when you get heartbroken? That’s one of the lowest lows. This show will highlight both of those moments, but let them breathe. I’ll give you another example from the show specifically. I’m a dad with four kids. You have four. Do you remember when you put that first kid in the car seat?
Yes. They’re identical twins.
There was still one of them that you put in first. I won’t tell the other one who that was.
Set up a fence for your time and shut off your devices once a week.
It was all a blur, quite frankly.
Do you remember when you held your kid for the first time at that moment? This will highlight that feeling for such a long time that it’ll bring you back to those moments in your life. The highs and lows of life. What I love about it is no matter where you are in life, you will see yourself in one of those characters. We talked about storytelling. I said that you need to be able to relate to a protagonist. You’re going to see yourself. Let’s talk about a Disney movie for a moment. Did you ever see the movie The Incredibles?
I remember, but I didn’t see it.
You’re the one that didn’t see it. I heard there was one.
To be fair, I didn’t see the whole Godfather either, but I read the book.
You’ve seen the Lion King, right?
I’ve seen that twice. Am I redeemed?
Have you seen the movie?
Yes, of course, with my children with the old VHS.
My kids can’t even relate. We used to have to get up to change the channel.
We love Nala. I don’t want you to think I was lying.
I appreciate it. I got you. You know your stuff. The Incredibles is a movie about superheroes. There’s a scene in that movie where there’s a father who comes home from work. He’s had a tough day. Mom is home and she’s had a tough day with the kids. The teenage girl is having a tough time with the kids and the little boy. If you hit pause right there, everybody watching that movie can relate to what somebody on the screen is going through. That’s what I mean by it has to be relatable.
This show is very relatable and I promise people that it’s a little heavy. Most people will say, “I want to watch something that’s going to make me escape from life and give me a break.” Go watch Seinfeld again. That’s what I do when I want to laugh. When you want to grow and feel empowered to grow and become a better version of yourself, make sure you access content that’s going to uplift you and make you feel more alive. Going back to Shawshank, “Get busy living or get busy dying.” You can watch some shows that are fun and entertaining, but you’re dying inside. You don’t need to watch it. Find things that are going to help you grow.
I’m going to push back a little bit. TV, streaming, and all this stuff are awesome. Having said that, I don’t think it’s the same as reading, and I feel like we’re losing something by now.
Reading allows you to use your imagination.
Create your own. What do you say to that?
I say it’s better to read than to watch a movie. Harry Potter was huge for our kids. We said, “If you want to watch the movie, you got to earn it by reading the book.”
I also taught them that books are almost always better than movies.
For sure. My seventeen-year-old daughter finished Pride & Prejudice. She loved that. She can watch the movie. That’s a classic. Over the pandemic, we sat with our kids and I read them a chapter every week of A Tale of Two Cities. It’s my favorite story with incredible characters. It’s an amazing story by Charles Dickens.
By reading that out loud, I didn’t just read and they listen. We would talk together as a family throughout all of it. “This character, what was the culture like? How do we learn about history from this? How do we see ourselves?” It was a bonding experience. My son said to me, “Dad, I want to read it again together. I want to do it again.” I’m like, “Wow. It took us a year.” We then watched the movie, which is an incredible movie,” but I totally subscribed to what you’re saying.
The only way to empathize with others is not to try to understand what they’re going through, but to feel what they’re going through.
In most cases, the books are going to do that. Let’s go a step further though. There are certain movies where if a filmmaker is an expert at the camera, lenses, the right actors, and the music, you look at movies like Schindler’s List. Look at the emotion of those sequences. You could read about the Holocaust and it will be emotional, but when you see a great storyteller, it’s incredible. There’s a scene in that movie where Oskar Schindler is watching all the Jews being deported out of their communities, and there’s this little girl with a red dress. Do you remember this girl?
Yes.
Everything is in black and white. You see this whole town. Everyone is bustling and people are being shot. It’s this one scene. You can go to YouTube and watch it. Type in Schindler’s List girl with a red dress. Watch this scene. People are being shot. Kids are being ripped out of their parent’s arms. Husbands and wives are being pulled apart. There are fires and broken glass. It’s terrible.
Spielberg was like, “I know you see all this and that’s the backdrop, but I want you to focus on this one little girl. You don’t know her name. She’s alone and scared.” When that music comes on written by John Williams, that incredible haunting, deep, emotional theme with those minor chords, then you’re experiencing the emotions of the story on such a deep level. There has to be a place for both or I won’t have a job.
Let’s go back. As an internal optimist as I would imagine, for some reason, I feel you are as well. We’ve lost it. Let me encapsulate a little bit about what you described not the world that I work in. Let’s talk about communication, connection and relating. All of that falls under the umbrella of being empathic. Having empathy and caring about the other person, and feeling a sense of responsibility for someone other than yourself. When we serve or volunteer, the world smiles. How about we say it that way? How do we get that back?
A lot of what’s lost in terms of, “We’re not connected. We’re not relating. We’re plugged in.” We are not actively present. We are only half present. We’re not fully engaged. From the This is Us perspective, when you’re hurt or upset, if nobody cares about that or relates to that, then I learned I’m all for me. Nobody else cares. How can we get that back? I do believe we can get that back.
There’s only one way to get it back. I’m going to illustrate it the best way I know how. I’m going to bring in two movie references for you to make this point. Have you seen the movie E.T.?
Yes.
Steven Spielberg’s late mother who died a handful of years ago had a restaurant around the block from where we live. He bought it for her as a gift in LA in the ’80s. It was a dairy restaurant. She was in there every day, except for the Sabbath. It was a kosher dairy restaurant called the Milky Way. There are Spielberg posters on the walls and everything. What was so wonderful and charming about this place is as you would go eat there, she would walk around and sit with you at your table. She bounces around every day.
My kids grew up thinking that she was like their third grandmother. She was always interested in them. One time she was sitting next to me and I asked her this question, “What’s your favorite Spielberg movie?” That’s what I asked his mother. I know my favorite Spielberg movie is Jaws. She goes, “My favorite Spielberg movie is E.T.” I’m like, “Why?” She could have said Schindler’s List, which won him an Oscar, or Color Purple or Close Encounters.
She goes, “It’s because E.T. was the most real to who my son is.” He grew up with parents who were divorced. He grew up with that middle child syndrome. He grew up with imagination. He’s working through the trauma of childhood and coming to terms as an adult understanding who he is. That’s a beautiful answer from a mother.
If you look at the movie E.T., at the very beginning of the movie, they’re sitting around the table. Elliott is sitting there, he’s eleven, with his older brother and little sister, Drew Barrymore, and mom. Dad ran off with some other girl. Elliot says something that’s not so sensitive to mom. He brings up the fact that dad left with Sally for Mexico. Mom breaks down in tears. Elliot’s older brother says to Elliot, “When are you going to start thinking about how other people feel for a change?” That’s the message of the entire movie.
You may remember the movie as, “This boy and this alien that he has to send home,” but the depth of the movie and the message is when are we going to wake up and empathize with another person. Only when E.T. comes into Elliot’s life does Elliot now start to feel for another being. There’s a great moment at the end of the movie where the scientists are sitting with the brother. Elliot and E.T. are being hooked up to these monitors and E.T. is dying. The scientists asked the older brother, “Let me get this straight. Does Elliott think E.T.’s thoughts? His brother goes, “No. Elliot feels what E.T. feels. He feels his feelings.”
The only way to empathize with another human being is not to try to understand what they’re going through, but to try to feel what they’re going through. You ask the question, “How do we become more empathetic to our fellow men or other human beings.” There’s only one way. You touched on it with one word. The word is responsibility. That’s the way. If you look at Lion King, at the beginning of the movie, Simba wants to be king. He sings the song. Do you remember the song? “I just can’t wait to be king.” He’s young and he thinks being a king, he can do whatever he wants.
He thinks it’s all that.
His dad, Mufasa says, “Simba, there’s more to being a king than getting your way all the time.” Simba was like, “There’s more? What could be better than that?” Something happens to dad. What happens to dad? Do you remember?
Scar kills the dad. He sets him up and kills him.
This is a spoiler alert for everybody. We ruined the movie for you if you haven’t seen it. If you haven’t seen it by now, 30 years later, crawl out of a rock. Mufasa dies. It’s a Disney movie so they are always going to kill a parent like Bambi. We know what happened to his mother. Do you ever notice how many Disney characters don’t have mothers? In The Little Mermaid, Ariel has no mother. Aladdin has no mother. Belle in Beauty And The Beast has no mother. What is it with Disney and mothers? That’s another episode. We’ll do that.
I was having a conversation with a group of people and I was saying how Bambi is quite traumatic. We let kids watch that back before we used to hover over there.
You have to be careful what you let your kids watch. People tell me all the time well, “My kids shouldn’t watch this.” I’m like, “Who said your kid should be watching Lion King at five years old? They shouldn’t. They should wait until they’re eleven.” Lion King is a great chance for them to learn about the circle of life, but life has death in it. One of the most important people in my mother’s life was her grandmother who came from Europe. She had ten children. She was blind for at least the last son, which was my grandfather. She became blind later in her life. I don’t know what happened. She was very close to my mother.
People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
My mother was very close to her. To this day, she thinks of her every day and that relationship. When my mother’s grandfather died when she was a little girl, my grandfather wouldn’t let my mother go to the funeral of her grandfather because she was 11 years old or 12 years old or maybe even a little older like 15. My mom always said she lost that closure. Her parents tried to shield her from death.
That was the thinking at the time.
She didn’t understand that but it would have been so cathartic for her to be able to experience that grief as a fifteen-year-old for that closure. When parents say to me, “I don’t want to show my kids Lion King because Daddy dies.” Don’t show them at the wrong age, but at the right age, it’s a wonderful tool as stories are to teach us messages.
Let me tell you one thing about Lion King. The first time I ever went to a preview of a show was Lion King in New York City. I was a member of the Disney Club and something came in the mail. I called up my siblings, I’m 1 of 5, and I bought 30 tickets. The excitement in the theater was incredible. It was the first time. It was Julie Taymor with the masks.
My point was that it was so emotional and my father died when we were very young. My brothers pretty much grew up without a father. When Mufasa dies and there’s that scene of him talking above, it’s the first time I ever saw my brother cry. My brother is a pretty successful guy on Wall Street. He would die if he knew I was saying this.
Isn’t that incredible? It got him.
The point is it touches you.
When Walt Disney created Snow White, people couldn’t believe when they were watching the screen that people were crying. These are drawings. How are they crying? It’s that same magic. When you relate to something, it becomes real. Your brother, when he got teary-eyed in Lion King. He knew it wasn’t real, but the feelings were real.
That’s the empathetic part. Is that what you’re going for?
Exactly. I want to share the greatest tool to become an empathetic human being. Let’s look at Lion King again. Simba wants to be king. He thinks it’s the greatest thing in the world. Mufasa dies and Simba goes off and lives in Hakuna Matata world. It’s filled with waterfalls and lush green, and there are flowers and fruit. He sits in a jacuzzi by day. Sleeps in the hammock by night. He has everything he could ever want.
What he experiences there is exactly what we want. That’s why we go to Hawaii. That’s why we work all year because we want that vacation. That’s why I work all week because I want to get to the weekend. Simba has it made. He thinks being a king means I can do whatever I want. In Hakuna Matata world, he has no worries. He has no responsibility. Who then shows up to see him? Nala shows up and they sing the song, “Can you feel the love tonight?” They’re rolling around. The sun is setting and they’re kissing. It’s beautiful and everything is good.
She then says, “Simba, it’s good to see you but you got to come back with me.” He’s like, “What do you mean?” She’s like, “Scar has taken over everything.” He’s like, “No, Hakuna Matata. I’m staying right here.” She goes, “Maybe, I didn’t make myself clear. If you don’t come back with me. Everyone is going to die and you are responsible.” He says, “Hakuna Matata. I’m staying right here,” and then she leaves him. As a matter of fact, there’s a moment before she leaves. She’s like, “I can’t believe you’re acting like this.” He goes, “You’re beginning to sound like my dad.” She says, “At least one of us does.”
She leaves him and he’s left alone. Rafiki comes and hits him in the head. He sees his father in the clouds, “Remember who you are.” Simba goes back and it becomes the biggest animated movie of all time before Frozen. It didn’t become the biggest animated movie because we love movies about lions. It became a world-changing story because that movie gives all of us a taste of what true greatness is.
If you want to be great in life, there’s only one way. Take responsibility for the world. If you take the word responsibility and you break it down, the essence of it is the ability to respond. Wherever I have the ability to respond, I am responsible. I don’t wake up every day and go, “I’m an artist. What can I do to draw and make myself happy?” It’s, “How do I use my passions and abilities to take responsibility?”
To answer your question, how do we empathize with another person? The only way to empathize, to feel what they’re feeling is first you have to love humanity. You have to love people. You have to realize that your being alive is a responsibility. Take that ability and respond. The more you wake up and see that it’s a responsibility to impact another person, the more you’ll feel for them. Did you realize there was so much in the Lion King? What a great movie.
I didn’t know it was that. I do know that animation and Disney and all of these classics are so successful because they touch our hearts.
That’s how we empathize. I traveled the world as an inspirational speaker. I speak in communities, whether it’s corporations, leadership, business, you name it. I talked about parenthood and marriage. Everything is in there. People ask me a lot, how do you become an impactful speaker? This goes for anything in life. You want to impact another person by communicating. You talked about communication. The quote that I heard is so powerful, “It’s more than an audience or another person will ever care how much you know, they want to know how much you care.” That’s Teddy Roosevelt. That comes from sincerity. You got to be real.
Sigmund Freud was constantly asked, “What’s the meaning of life? What’s the purpose of life?” He gave a very simple answer that unfortunately was misinterpreted. What he said was, “To work and to love,” People misinterpreted the love for sex. He meant love, relationships and people. When he said work, he didn’t mean work for a living, he meant responsibility for society too. You have a responsibility to make a contribution to the world.
I’m going to go a step further. Sigmund Freud said that and I think he is half correct. I totally agree with that. Taking responsibility for the world is a means, but it’s not the end. When we do serve humanity and we do all those things, that’s not the end. That’s the means. What I achieve and what I do think is the purpose of life is only one thing. It’s to grow as a human being and work on myself. When you give to another person, the by-product of that is you’re growing as a human being.
Everyone, if you were to make a list of all of your negative character attributes, we all have them. Work on those. That’s what life is about. Take that list and make it less. You then take that positive list of your positive attributes. Life is about making that list bigger. The means to achieve personal growth and becoming a humbler person, living as a person who has more integrity and more giving or whatever it is, the only way to do it is to wake up and get out of yourself and realize that you were here to serve humanity.
The purpose of life is to grow as a human being.
You can’t have a marriage if you’re not in that marriage mindset of, “I want to give it to another person.” I talked about Judaism and that there’s a Hebrew word for love. The love is Ahavah. Every Hebrew word has a root. It’s 2 or 3 letters, and the root of that word tells you the essence of what the word is. If you ask most people in the world, “Do you love?” They say, “Yes. I love you.” What’s love? I’ll have to think about it for a second. They could be different for you and different for me. People have to think about it. You’re so sure you love someone, but you don’t have it at your fingertips what it is?
There’s a beautiful definition of love. Love is to give to another human being because the Hebrew word for love is Ahavah. The root is Hav. It means to give. When you love someone, you give to them. Love is a verb. Love is not an adjective. Love is not something you feel as a result of someone else. Love is giving to another person. These are tools to help us grow as human beings.
I could go on and on, but that is a beautiful way to end. I want to ask you a question. What’s the one song that you cannot live without?
I don’t have to think about it because I know. I’ve never been asked that question and I love it. I’m a big movie soundtrack guy. My favorite composer of all time was John Williams because he wrote the music for every Spielberg movie. He wrote Jurassic Park, E.T., Jaws, Star Wars, Schindler’s List, Home alone, you name it. He’s an incredible score writer, but my favorite score of all time is written by Hans Zimmer.
I’m not kidding. You can ask my kids. They will tell you this is true. Every day for over twenty years, I listened to the same track or song. I could be in the most uplifted mood, windows down and I’m soaring, I put this song on. I could be sad and down, and it brings me comfort. The song is called Now We Are Free. It’s from the movie Gladiator.
I love Gladiator.
I’m opening up my phone right now. I collect versions.
I love those movies where men were men.
This movie soundtrack is unbelievable. The whole soundtrack is called Earth/Honor Him. Now You Are Free is a great song. This theme has these chords. The music is unbelievable. If anyone wants to find an incredible version, get the Now You Are Free track from the Gladiator soundtrack. There’s an incredible version from a group called Celtic Thunder. Check it out. There’s also a version by an incredible woman, Leona Lewis. It’s so beautiful. I collect versions of the song. I have to urge everybody, if you’re reading this, always remember that each one of us is absolutely unique and there are no two people who have the same purpose.
Why is that your all-time favorite song?
It motivates and comforts me. It motivates me to keep going. Life is hard. Everyone reading this knows that life is hard. Relationships and work are hard. At any minute we could lose everything we have. We could lose our money, our job or someone we love. Even our values get tested. Life is difficult. You find people or music that uplifts you or things that can remind you, as they say in Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming.” Keep going and remember that because each one of us is unique that we must have a unique purpose. No two people in the world have the same purpose.
How much time do we spend every day focused on what other people are doing as opposed to being inspired by them going, “What can I do? How do I live a meaningful life or a life of awesome?” It is being unique and realizing that I have to contribute to the world. The world doesn’t need another Steven Spielberg. It doesn’t need another Dr. Patty Ann. People out there need to find their unique gifts and give that to the world.
Your podcast is called Life of Awesome. How can people find out more about you?
You can go to my website. It’s SaulBlinkoff.com and from there, you will have access to Instagram and my podcast. You can see some of the speaking events that I do. There’s a promo video there. If you’re interested in bringing me as a speaker to your community or your business, that’s something that I love. I love those opportunities to make my small dent in the world.
I could have spoken to you all day.
Right back at you. You’re brilliant and sensitive. I love learning from you. I appreciate this collaboration. I love this conversation. I appreciate you spending time with me and inviting me to be with you and your audience. Thank you so much.
Thank you. That concludes this episode. Saul was incredible. This was such a treat. It literally makes going into the weekend that much more special. Make sure you like, comment, share and subscribe to the show. Check Saul out. He is an incredible person. The world would be a much better place if more people are like him. Until next time, be well.
Important Links
- Saul Blinkoff
- Man’s Search for Meaning
- Life of Awesome podcast
- George Foreman – From Gutter To Glory To Grill!
- Pride & Prejudice
- A Tale of Two Cities
- http://www.SaulBlinkoff.com/
- https://www.Facebook.com/Saul-Blinkoff-312545789375567
- https://www.Instagram.com/saul.blinkoff/
About Saul Blinkoff
Saul began his career as an animator for the WALT DISNEY STUDIOS working on the hit films Pocahontas, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Mulan, & Tarzan.
He made his directorial debut with the hip action-adventure series Spy Groove for MTV. Shortly thereafter, he re-joined DISNEY, directing the films Winnie the Pooh: Springtime with Roo & Kronk’s New Groove.
Saul also consulted in development on the DISNEY films: Tinkerbell, Fox and The Hound II, Brother Bear II, Cinderella III, and Dumbo II. Saul has directed high profile commercials for clients such as Best Buy, Dunkin’ Donuts, ESPN, Subway, Mercedes Benz, EA Sports & Build-A-Bear and has consulted for animation studios internationally in London, Tel Aviv, Toronto, Seoul, Dublin, Vancouver & China.
Saul was a Director on the smash hit DISNEY show Doc McStuffins, Supervising Director on The Numberlys and Consulting Producer on The Stinky & Dirty Show; both for AMAZON. For NETFLIX, Saul was Consulting Director on the hit show Barbie Dreamhouse Adventures and was Supervising Director on Llama Llama starring Jennifer Garner. Currently, Saul is the Supervising Producer on the DREAMWORKS hit show Madagascar: A Little Wild on HULU/PEACOCK.
Saul speaks around the world sharing practical tools for success, meaning and fulfilment in all aspects of life! He also hosts the inspirational weekly podcast; Life of AWESOME!
Bullets:
- Currently Supervising Producer at Dreamworks – on Award Winning show Madagascar
- Began his career as an Animator for Walt Disney Studios
- Host of Life of Awesome podcast
- Consultant on films for Amazon, Netflix, Disney.
- Consultant on commercials: Subway, Mercedes, EA Sports etc
- Incredible Keynote speaker – sharing tools for success, meaning and living a life of fulfilment.
