The revelations keep rolling out surrounding the circumstances of Kristen Stewart’s acts of infidelity with former director of her recent movie: “Snow White and the Huntsman”. The tabloids report that Robert Pattinson has moved out of their LA home and moved back to England; while Rupert Sanders’ wife Liberty has been seen not wearing her wedding ring. How this real life Hollywood drama will eventually play out is anyone’s guess; however, how these couples got here may be found in current research that reports the main reason why men cheat on their spouses is that they feel overwhelmingly unappreciated by their wives. Women often report loneliness as the main reason for cheating on their husbands.
Regardless of the underlying reasons for these betrayals and deceit motivating a cheating spouse (both emotional and sexual), follow the 3 simple steps below to affair-proof your marriage/relationship to avoid this painful stake through your heart.
- Prioritize your relationship. We can find countless excuses for neglecting our relationship and putting our marriage on the back burner. For example, we need to return one more email, take one more phone call, put in one more load of laundry, the kids are literally screaming for our attention, the house needs to be cleaned, a hard work deadline is rapidly approaching, and quite honestly, the list is endless. And this is exactly my point – the list will always be endless. We can always find a reason to ignore our spouse by putting everything else in our lives before them – our work, our kids, our house, our friends, etc. If we do this long enough, eventually we won’t have a relationship left to ignore. So (re)prioritize your relationship and put it to the top of your list – where it used to be and where it belongs!
- Take time to make time. Just like a garden, the love in your relationship withers and eventually dies if you don’t water and nurture it with tender loving care. The best way to nurture your relationship is to take the time to make the time to schedule couple time into your week – every week. This is the only way to guarantee that you will have quality time available to spend alone with your partner – free of all the other distractions that life brings. Pull out your old-fashioned calendars or use your computer calendar and schedule date time. Once this time is scheduled – treat it like it is written in stone and do not allow anything else that might come along to “bump” your date time off the calendar. Time spent together doesn’t have to be expensive or formal – it just needs to be!!!
- Rules of date time. Valuable couple time spent together can be as simple as taking a walk together in the evening or having a cup of coffee together in the morning. The priority is about spending the time together – not on what the activity is you’re doing when you are together. There are however, three simple rules to follow when spending time with your partner. These rules include: no talking about work, no talking about the kids, and no talking about money if this topic is a source of tension within your relationship. Date time is a time to re-connect in an intimate way, it is not meant to be a problem-solving activity (we can talk about healthy ways to problem-solve in your relationship in future newsletters). Follow these three simple rules and your time spent together will act as a glue that binds your intimacy and connection in your relationship – avoiding infidelity.
Avoiding the pain of infidelity will keep your relationship golden and untarnished!
Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,
Dr. Patty Ann
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