If you are like most people, I bet you do a little bit of spring-cleaning this time of year. You de-clutter your closet, throw out the junk you stuffed in your garage, and maybe do a little gardening.
So why not detox & refresh your marriage by weeding out the toxic behavior that is destroying your marriage.
3 Valuable Secrets to Detox Your Marriage
1. Examine and re-establish what your expectations are from your marriage. Think about how much time you want to spend together with your partner & how much time you want to spend apart?
How much time to do you want to be together? No judgment here – every relationship has different expectations from their partners.
Warning: if you expect your partner to fulfill your every want, need and desire, you must re-evaluate this – because it is an unrealistic expectation.
Remember – It is impossible to have any one person fulfill anyone else’s every need! Totally impossible.
So re-examine what needs you want your partner to meet and then have a conversation about this. It’s your responsibility to make sure you and your partner are on the same page. This will prevent you from drifting apart and feeling let down.
If you’ve been reading my blogs – you know my philosophy.
If you want something from your partner, you’ve got to ask for it.
If you don’t ask – and you don’t get it – you can’t complain. Your partner isn’t a mind reader.
2. Do not take each other for granted. This is such a common mistake many couples make. And it is so deadly to the connection and romance of the relationship.
You don’t take other precious items that you treasure in your life for granted – so why would you take your marriage for granted?
A great way to avoid taking each other for granted is to schedule date night – and honor it. Don’t re-schedule this time with your partner because you think a better offer has come along.
Nothing can be viewed as a better offer than spending time with the one you love.
Schedule a date night and stick to it. Stop making excuses (“I’m too busy”, “I have too much work”, “I’m too tired”, etc.). Just do it!
3. Do Not Expect your spouse to be someone other than who they are! Honestly, many of us want our spouse to be more like, well, us!
OR maybe you want your spouse to be more like your friend’s spouse.
Expecting or wanting your partner to be anyone other than who they are is totally toxic to your relationship.
News Alert: you don’t really know how your friend’s spouse is as a partner – you only know who you think they are. I could give you countless examples of people that I’ve worked with over the years who present themselves to their friends in one way – but are totally different at home with their partner.
Nothing good comes out of comparing your spouse to anybody else. Period.
You married your spouse for who they are – marriage is not going to fundamentally change them. Just like marriage is not going to fundamentally change who you are.
Follow these 3 secrets and watch your marriage blossom and grow this spring.
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