You might pride yourself on your intelligence, your experience, and your results. But none of that protects you from something that silently wreaks havoc on even the strongest leaders: emotional blind spots.
These are the invisible patterns you carry—ways of reacting, thinking, or showing up—that undermine your relationships without you realizing it. And in business, where relationships are everything, they can quietly sabotage trust, communication, and success.
What Exactly Is an Emotional Blind Spot?
Think of it this way: you can’t fix what you can’t see. An emotional blind spot is a behavior, reaction, or belief you’re unaware of, but everyone else feels the impact. It might be the reason you shut down during a tough conversation or get defensive when you hear feedback. It might explain why people hesitate to be honest with you or why certain conflicts seem to repeat themselves no matter how hard you try to “fix” things.
These blind spots aren’t flaws—they’re survival strategies you likely developed a long time ago. The problem? They no longer serve you. Instead, they show up today as micromanagement, avoidance, overreaction, people-pleasing, or the need to always be right. And they erode the very trust and connection you’re working so hard to build.
How to Spot the Patterns You’re Missing
The hardest part about blind spots? You can’t see them by yourself. Here’s how to start pulling back the curtain:
- Notice the Patterns That Keep Showing Up
If you find yourself having the same kinds of conflicts or frustrations over and over—whether with employees, clients, or partners—pause. Those repeated breakdowns are not a coincidence. Patterns are often clues pointing directly to a blind spot.
Ask yourself:
- Where do I feel the most misunderstood or frustrated?
- What feedback do I tend to dismiss or push back on?
- What complaints seem to follow me from job to job or team to team?
- Get Honest Feedback (Without Getting Defensive)
People may not tell you the truth unless you explicitly invite it—and even then, it takes courage to hear. Skip the generic “How can I improve?” and ask questions that go deeper:
- How do I handle conflict, really?
- What’s it like to work with me when I’m under pressure?
- Where might I be getting in my own way?
Here’s the key: don’t argue. Don’t explain. Just listen. The feedback you resist is probably pointing right at your blind spot.
- Slow Down Your Triggers
Blind spots often announce themselves in your reactions—especially when you’re triggered. Pay attention the next time you feel defensive, shut down, or overly emotional in a business conversation. Ask yourself:
- What story am I telling myself right now?
- What’s the fear beneath this reaction?
- Am I reacting to this situation or to something old that’s being stirred up?
What to Do Once You See the Blind Spot
Awareness is a powerful first step, but it won’t change anything on its own. Here’s how to turn that awareness into action:
Own It. Out Loud.
The fastest way to rebuild trust and connection is to name what you’ve noticed. For example:
“I’ve realized I tend to shut down when I feel criticized. I see now how that’s made it hard for others to share ideas openly with me. I’m working on changing that.”
Owning your blind spot without shame invites others to be more open with you too.
Practice New Habits, Not Perfection
You won’t flip a switch overnight. New behaviors take time, intention, and repetition.
- Set small, clear goals: In the next meeting, I’ll focus on listening without interrupting.
- Track your progress. Notice what’s getting easier and what still trips you up.
- Enlist a coach or trusted colleague to hold you accountable.
Repair Quickly When You Slip Up
You will still get triggered. You will still mess up. That’s not failure—it’s part of growth. When you recognize an old pattern surfacing, circle back. Apologize. Clarify. Repair the relationship. That follow-through builds trust faster than pretending you’re perfect.
Final Thought
Your emotional blind spots aren’t weaknesses. They’re simply areas where you haven’t yet connected the dots between your past, your emotions, and your leadership. Once you see them clearly, you gain the power to lead—and relate—with greater awareness, empathy, and impact.
Want help identifying your blind spots and clearing the road ahead? That’s the work I do every day. Let’s connect.
Dr.Patty Ann
#LeadershipDevelopment #EmotionalIntelligence #BusinessRelationships
#ExecutiveCoach #HumanBehavior #LeadershipTips
