Keep The Flames of Love Burning Hot in Your Relationship

All marriages face obstacles – and when we hit these obstacles we often begin to stumble and say and do things in our marriage that eats away at the very heart of our relationship – killing the love and intimacy required to keep the love alive.   Below are 3 common mistakes you must stop now to keep the flames of love and passion alive in your relationship.   

1. Criticizing and Belittling.  We do not always realize how often we criticize our partner throughout the course of a day.  Criticism might take the simple form of criticizing the clothes they wear, the type of movies they like to watch or the music they listen to.  Or we may criticize their opinions on politics, religion or their views on parenting. Whatever it is you are criticizing your partner about – you must stop because the only purpose it serves is to eat away at the intimacy in your relationship and kill the flames of intimacy.

Think about this for a moment.  Would you want to spend an extended amount of time with someone who is constantly criticizing you?  Of course not!  When we constantly criticize our partner, we are, in fact, belittling them. Whether that is your intention or not, belittling your partner is the consequence of criticizing them.  Therefore, if you are hoping to spend many passionate days and nights with your partner, stop the criticizing and begin accepting them for who they are!

2. Resentment.  Resentment acts like carbon monoxide in your relationship – it is an invisible silent killer that destroys all those who come in contact with it. If you and your partner hurt each other, which is inevitable in any relationship, the ability to forgive one another is paramount if you want to go the distance. The inability to forgive our partner creates resentment – forgiveness is the antidote to resentment and will go a long way to secure romance in your relationship to keep the flames of passion burning bright. 

Be willing to give to your partner what you will ask for someday – forgiveness.  Sooner or later you will seek it from your partner too!  And remember, you cannot ask from your partner that which you are not willing to give to them!

3. Unappreciated.  It would be impossible for me to count the number of times I have heard people complain about feeling unappreciated by their partner.  As we become more comfortable with our partner, we sometimes forget to acknowledge the positive things they do for us and take them for granted.   Couples who are able to increase their sense of intimacy and commitment to each know that it is important to show your appreciation to your partner for the love they give to you and the things they do for you. 

Appreciation can be shown in small every day acts of kindness.  For example, bringing your partner a cup of coffee in the morning, or their favorite newspaper to read in bed are two very simple, yet highly effective ways to show your partner how much you appreciate them.  Remember, actions speak louder than words – so don’t forget to show your appreciation in your deeds as well as your words!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
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