3 Tips to Re-Connect with Your Partner When the Kids Go Back-to–School

Unless your kids spend the entire summer at sleep away camp, chances are you’ve been playing camp counselor, nurse, cook, guidance counselor and maid to the little darlings. While it is not a bad thing to take care of our kids, we would be making a mistake if we let them consume our lives – leaving little, if any (quality) time for our marriage! If you’ve fallen into the trap of taking care of your kids at the expense of taking care of your marriage (or intimate relationship), following are 3 easy tips to prioritize your marriage once again.

  1. Schedule a date night once a week (okay- every other week at a minimum). As you organize the kid’s activities on a family calendar – make sure you schedule – in pen, time for you and your partner to be alone together at least once a week. Don’t leave these date nights to chance – assuming you will get out “one of these nights” is not good enough. Perhaps you want to go to dinner every Thursday night or maybe it’s lunch on Mondays. It doesn’t matter what day or night the date takes place & the date doesn’t have to break the bank. The purpose of these dates is to re-connect with each other as partners – as opposed to parents. The topic of conversation can be about anything other the kids or work!
  2. Stay connected during the day with the help of technology. Everyone is running around all day long – then at night everyone is consumed with getting dinner ready, helping with homework, maybe even doing a little bit of work – it is easy to have days go by without having any time to connect as husband and wife. Take advantage of modern technology and stay connected with your partner during the day via text messaging, email, IM’ing, etc. It only takes a few minutes (at most) to do. Share a funny joke you heard; send a little love note, let them know you are thinking about them – anything that keeps you connected to each other as partners! Little efforts go a long way in keeping a marriage strong!
  3. Keep Your Sense of Humor – seriously, we sometimes forget to lighten up and not take ourselves so seriously. Keep your sense of humor, especially during the tough times. Laughter truly is the best medicine!

During the crazy months ahead filled with homework, school activities, volunteering – all while trying to hold down a job or take care of an elderly parent, remember you and your partner are in it “together” – don’t let trivial things tear you apart!


Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann



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