Following are 3 habits of healthy happy couples. These habits are based upon over two decades of work as a relationship expert. As you read them, you will notice these three habits are quite simple; therefore, I caution you not to make the mistake that because something is simple – that means it’s not powerful!
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Take care of your own needs. Many people, especially women, put themselves on the backburner as they meet the needs of everyone else in their life. Regardless of whether you are a wife, mother, worker, volunteer, etc., make sure you do not neglect yourself. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. If you spend years taking care of everyone but yourself, you will eventually get sick and/or burn out. When this happens, you can’t take care of yourself, let alone anyone else. Therefore, do not neglect yourself by making sure you schedule alone time for yourself on a consistent basis.
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Prioritize your marriage/relationship. With the passage of time in our marriage, we tend to put everything before our relationship. It’s not our intention to do this but let’s face it, we are all overburdened with various roles and responsibilities and not enough time in the day to get them all done – making it easy to skip time for our partner. This is a major red flag and is directly correlated to couples “growing apart.” As I tell couples I work with: “Of course you’ve grown apart over the years, you haven’t made time to be together!” Therefore, make it your priority – and your business – to schedule alone time with your partner as often as possible. Prioritize the scheduled time and keep it free from all distractions by turning off all forms of technology so you can just connect with each other!
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Find the delicate balance between being together and being and doing things apart from each other. In other words, do not expect your partner to be all things to you at all times. That’s an impossible, burdensome task and one in which your partner will eventually fail since no one can be all things to one person. Just as it’s important for the health of your relationship to share common interests and friends, it’s just as important to the vitality of your relationship to maintain your independence by keeping your own separate friends and interests.
Marriages that have stood the test of time have operationalized all these three healthy habits. Incorporate them into your relationship so you may watch the season change together.
Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,
Dr. Patty Ann
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