Stop Fighting During the Holidays – and Give Thanks

Thanksgiving begins the official start of the holiday season. Unfortunately – for many couples – this means fighting over a million different things. Why? We get so stressed out with all the extra “to-do’s” on our already jam-packed “to-do” list, tension escalates and before you know it we are at each other’s throat. This holiday season, before we kick into high gear: buying groceries, baking cookies, holiday shopping, making travel plans, let’s pause for a moment and remember what it’s really all about. Spending the holidays with the ones we love – and all the things in our lives we can be thankful – and grateful for.

Let me share with you what I am most thankful for.  I am thankful for all the wonderful people with whom I share my life: my family, my friends and the ever growing, inspiring followers of this relationship advice newsletter. I am thankful for the privilege of being allowed to enter your lives and touch your hearts.

I love this quote from Albert Einstein: “There are only two ways to live your life, one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as if everything is.” Arguably the greatest genius of the previous century, Einstein expressed so eloquently his life philosophy predicated upon gratitude and thankfulness. Be thankful for everything in your life and consider everything and everyone around you to be a miracle; for in fact, our very existence embodies the miracle of life. Be thankful for it.

We should all do our best to express gratitude and thanks for what we have in our lives instead of worrying about – and being resentful for – what we don’t have (or for what you think you should have more of). This includes focusing on all the wonderful qualities and positive aspects of our relationships while minimizing the negatives. So quit complaining about the things your partner does that drives you crazy – and remember all the wonderful things they do that make them special to you!

When we view our relationships and our lives through the eyes of gratitude and thankfulness, our inner world becomes a place of peace, joy, happiness and tranquility that radiates from our very core and influences our external reality. Gratitude and thankfulness provides a mindset that allows us to see the good in the people who make up our lives and this vision extends to the world at large. Feeling thankful for all we have in our lives makes us feel good about ourselves and our relationships. Thankfulness increases the bond we have with each other, on an individual level and within our community at large. (I know this is a little heavy but it is true.)

Thankfulness puts us in a place where we truly want to give back to the world for all that we have; it injects positive feelings into our relationships and allows them to expand from a place of love and abundance.

The presence of thankfulness within our hearts allows us to look at conflict in our relationships from a healthy perspective. Therefore, when faced with conflicts, we feel less inclined to escalate them because we are coming from a place of abundance. We do not have the energy, the desire, nor the will to view conflict from a “winner takes all” sum game.

The mindset and expression of thankfulness and gratitude in your day to day life helps solidify all your relationships and acts as the glue for maintaining love and intimacy in your romantic relationships. When we show thanks and gratitude to our partner, we let them know we appreciate the love and intimacy they bring into our lives. So be thankful for all the love you have in your life.

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann

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