New love is often blind to behaviors and/or attitudes that may potentially create tremendous future stress in your relationship. It’s only a matter of time before differences in your attitudes and values about money take center stage in your marriage. Once the honeymoon subsides and the rose-colored glasses come off, money rears its very ugly head. The credit cards bills come in and the money fights begin. Yes, it’s true. Fighting about money is one of the main reasons couples divorce.
You can beat the odds and avoid all the money drama in your relationship by reading below the 3 ways to avoid fighting about money.
Acknowledge how you differently view and approach money. Acknowledge the reality that one of you loves to save money while the other one loves to spend it – don’t ignore this fundamental difference. Over time, ignoring this difference creates resentment in the relationship – not only between what you spend money on and how much money you save, but it often spills into other areas of your relationship as well – creating friction which, on the surface, seemingly have nothing to do with money, but if you dig down deep enough – traces back to money.
Once it has been acknowledged, openly and honest communicate, in the right time, at the right place, about how you differ regarding money. Speeding down the highway on the way to visit friends, or while paying bills is not usually the right time for this conversation. Instead, schedule a time and place where you both feel emotionally safe to have your conversation.
Discuss one specific money issue at a time. For example, if you and your spouse differ over how you view credit card debt, what amount of money should be saved per paycheck, what to do with discretionary income – pick only one of these differences to discuss at any one time. Although it’s tempting, don’t discuss all your money issues at one time. This often creates more stress and tension in what is sure to be an already emotional discussion. Discussing one specific money issue helps break each issue down into manageable pieces, so you don’t feel so overwhelmed. The more honestly and effectively you communicate – the more honestly and effectively you will handle money differences in your marriage.
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