Kim Kardashian files for divorce #2. Oh – you didn’t know? Yes, she was married before to a business tycoon. That marriage lasted an eternity – approximately six months. Seriously though, getting married – only to call it quits less than three months later – really is no joking matter. Marriage is a commitment that most people enter into truly hoping it will last a lifetime. Now I don’t know Kim Kardashian any better than you probably know her – but I would imagine she did not anticipate this short-lived marriage either. I don’t know what really happened in this marriage but I do know what happens to so many other couples who are struggling to regain intimacy in their relationship.
Following are 3 powerful ways to keep the love alive – whether you’ve been married for 3 months, 3 years or 33 years.
1. Commitment – for better or worse. Yes – it is easy to stay committed to your relationship when things are going along just fine. It’s when the you-know-what hits the fan that makes staying committed to your relationship an arduous task. We all say the same wedding vows: “for better or worse” but we really mean “for better and I really hope there is not any worse”. Let’s be honest – we get married hoping for a fairy tale life – reinforced, for many, with a fairy tale wedding. And then life kicks in and it is only a matter of time before the proverbial honeymoon is over. Money gets tight, the kids get sick, the hot water heater breaks down, etc. and our marriage no longer feels like a honeymoon. These are the times when we have to make a very conscious commitment to weathering the storm – yes, it can really be this simple (not to suggest this is a simple feat). The good news about riding out the difficult times in your marriage is that once the storm has passed, your relationship is strengthened just knowing you have survived the storm.
2. Communication – it would be impossible for me to tell you how many times I have heard couples tell me they don’t know what has happened to their marriage – they have just “grown apart”. The best way to avoid this is to keep constant, honest and open communication between you and your partner. Have all types of communication with your partner – the good, the bad and the ugly. What I mean by this is to communicate about the good things going on in your life, take time to discuss the bad things and do not avoid communicating about the ugly things. Engaging in these ugly conversations is easier to do if you have consistent conversations about the good things too. Otherwise it will feel like every time you sit down to have a conversation, it is to talk about a “problem”. Communicating consistently will keep you and your partner connected and prevent your relationship from growing apart.
3. Agree to Disagree, Respectfully. It is unrealistic to think anyone in a relationship for any length of time will always be in agreement. This is just not happening. The best way to deal with some disagreements is to understand that there will be some issue you and your partner will never see eye to eye on – and when you each try to get the other to see it your way – the only thing that happens is that your relationship goes on a downward spiral. For some issues, whether it is easy ones like what is the fastest way to drive somewhere or more difficult issues – like how much money to save – it is okay to agree to disagree, respectively and then just let it go – because you are never going to change your partner’s mind – and they are not going to change yours!
Use these 3 simple, yet powerful tips, for keeping the love alive in your marriage and you will avoid a Kardashian Krash!
Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,
Dr. Patty Ann
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