More than three decades of experience as a marriage expert has proven what we already know. Great marriages/relationships are built upon effective communication. We all know that effective communication includes the ability to be totally present & actively listen during conversations with our partner.
But did you know that for many relationships, the problem lies in the fact that no one ever seems to ask the right questions. What I mean by the “right” questions are questions that show concern and interest about what your partner feels and thinks. These questions give your partner the opportunity to truly open up their heart and soul to you.
Following are 3 key questions that will dramatically increase the emotional intimacy in your relationship.
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Can you please help me understand? Asking this question will allow you and your partner to begin to come to terms with any differences you may be experiencing. This question doesn’t try to change your partner’s mind or suggest you are unhappy with them. It merely implies an open honest attempt to truly learn what your partner is thinking and/or feeling when you are holding differing views/opinions.
Although people enjoy having others agree with them, when this doesn’t happen – what people want more than anything is to at least be understood. The ability to take the time to understand where your partner is coming from will help keep the relationship on solid ground – even when you are at odds with each other.
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Is there anything I can do for you? This question lets your partner know that you are thinking about them. This might sound like a trivial matter; however, knowing your partner is actively thinking about you – and what you might want or need or get done – in spite of how busy you are, speaks volumes for your relationship. The fact that you are showing consideration for your partner will keep your relationship strong.
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Can I give you my opinion? Sometimes our partner is struggling with an issue and they really don’t want our opinion on how to solve it. They may just want to vent.
Others times our partner will welcome our opinion.
It is so important to ask this question because it shows we are listening to our partner’s struggle. We are willing to take on whatever role they need for us to take on at that very moment.
Our partner might want us to be a silent supporter or an active problem solver. Asking this question allows our partner to tell us what they need, so we can act accordingly.
Although being an active listener is an important aspect of effective communication, the ability to ask the 3 key questions stated above will make for the most effective communication – and connection!
Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com
www.911marriagehelp.com/blog
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