3 Tools for Re-Newing Intimacy in Your Relationship in 2015

The holidays are over and with the New Year come many new hopes and dreams. Whether you are someone who makes New Year’s Resolutions or not, now is a good time to pause and reflect on ways to make the New Year better for yourself and the one you love. With that in mind, following are 3 simple tips to increase romance and happiness in your relationship in 2014.

  1. Look in the Mirror because all change begins with you! Be the change you want to see in your partner. If you want your partner to be more loving, then you should be more loving. If you want your partner to be more forgiving, then be more forgiving. If you want your partner to be more patient, then act more patient. When we treat our partner the way we want to be treated, you will be shocked as to how that influences the way your partner treats you! Positive thoughts and actions on your part will promote positive thoughts and actions from your partner. All change does, in fact, begin with you.

  2. Ask for what you want & need. It is amazing how many times I hear people tell me they shouldn’t have to ask their partner for what they want and need from them – their partner should just know. This sentiment never ceases to amaze me. Refusing to ask to get your emotional needs met from your partner will only leave you feeling empty, unfulfilled and often angry. This anger will serve to fuel feelings of resentment over time. And nothing kills intimacy like resentment. Therefore, if you need your partner to help with the dishes, the kids, the house, etc., ASK! Fuming to yourself that your partner should just know and you shouldn’t have to tell him/her doesn’t serve you, your relationship or anyone else any good. It is your responsibility to speak up and be heard!

  3. Forgive, Move On & Let it Go! Any one in a long-term intimate relationship can attest to the value & absolute necessity of being able to forgive and let go of anger when your partner hurts you. As long as your partner is truly sorry for having wronged you, it is imperative you forgive, truly let it go and then move on! Don’t just give lip service to letting it go, truly and sincerely let it go! As mentioned in tip #2, holding onto anger over time creates resentment; resentment is the key ingredient that destroys intimacy and happiness in any relationship. Forgive, move on and as the wildly popular song says: “Let it go!” It’s the only way to let your love grow!

As hard as we might try, we cannot truly change anyone but ourselves. Changing yourself and how you treat and react to your partner will directly impact how your partner treats and reacts to you. Remember, what goes around – comes back around, eventually!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann