Have you thought about what these 4 words are that all husbands absolutely hate to hear? My book has an entire chapter dedicated to showing you how to communicate effectively with your partner so you can avoid using those 4 words all men hate to hear from their wives or significant other: “we need to talk!” As soon as these words leave your mouth, all men become filled with dread and the flight part of fight vs. flight kicks in. Ok, maybe I am being a little sarcastic but you and I both know that no man on the face of the earth ever heard those words and then began to hunker down with a nice drink and anticipate the upcoming conversation. More likely what happens is the man rolls his eyes, releases a huge sigh and says something like: “about what?” Can you relate? To avoid what may very well be these disastrous conversations, here are a few secrets revealed right out of the Communication chapter of my book.
Men ask that you NOT do the following when communicating with them:
- Don’t make a request that is really a demand, taking away his freedom to say “no” without being a “bad guy.” Try this instead: Ask him to do something when he is not in the middle of doing something else, like when he finally sits down at 8:00pm to watch the ballgame.
- Don’t ask him to do something by a certain time without respecting his time frame for accomplishing the task. Try this instead: List household chores and prioritize tasks in order of importance to you. Discuss the list with him and ask him if the time frame you have in mind is realistic.
- Don’t repeatedly ask whether he’s going to do a task you’ve requested (nag). Try this instead: Let him decide when to do something and leave him alone, unless you need something done by a specific time. If you do, clearly communicate your time frame when you request he complete the task. Don’t blindside him at the time you need something to be completed.
You get the picture? Rather than having to have one of those dreaded “we need to talk” conversations, it is so much more preferable to communicate effectively with your spouse during the actual time you are speaking with him. Effective communication will eliminate the need to have to constantly clarify issues to clear up misconceptions, miscommunications and discrepancies between what you said and what your partner heard. In other words, try to get it right the first time!
These 3 tips are just a few of the invaluable communication nuggets you will get when you read my book!
Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,
Dr. Patty Ann