3 Easy Ways to Heat Up Your Relationship as the Kids Get Back to School

This was a great summer for beach loving and sports loving families!  We had the Olympics as we watched the women take home so much GOLD, and record breaking heat leaving us packing and heading to the beaches! But with all these fun activities, it’s easy to forget about our marriage and let it fizzle out on the back burner.  As much as we love having our kids around during the summer months, they find a way of absorbing (if not consuming) most of our energy and attention – leaving us too exhausted to spend quality time with our partner. 

Following are 3 easy ways to get your sizzle back into your relationship as the kids head back-to-school:

1. Prioritize your relationship.  You can no longer use the kids being around all the time as an excuse for keeping your relationship on the back burner – or ignoring it all together.  Put your relationship front and center in your life – where it belongs – and get back into scheduling time together – if that is the only way your busy life can find time for your relationship.  Grab a calendar and schedule a date night – at least once a week!  Make sure you and your partner have agreed to prioritize these scheduled dates together and get the babysitters lined up to make it work. No excuses – just do it. (And by the way – they don’t have to be date “nights” – they can be coffee in the mornings, lunches together or late night walks – you get the picture).    

2.  Display affection and touch each other. Remember to hug, kiss and rub each other’s back if the mood suits you.  Touch, also known as tactile stimulation, is one of the best ways to increase intimacy in your relationship because it creates a chemical reaction that connects you to each other.  I don’t want to get to geeky on you but believe me when I tell you touch is crucial to romance and intimacy.  Doesn’t everyone love to be touched?

3. Communicate. This sounds so simple but we can so easily forget to communicate with each other in the midst of all the buzz and swirl of back-to-school activity. We spend a lot of time talking about everything and everyone and forget to talk about each other and our feelings. Talking about feelings will keep you feeling emotionally connected and increase your level of trust with each other.  Communication between partners is a sure fire way to increase intimacy and romance! 

As you get your kids revved up for school with their backpacks, notebooks, paper and pencils – rev up your relationship by prioritizing it with scheduled date nights, touch each other as a great way to stay emotionally connected and remember to communicate with each other.  You are now all set to put the sizzle back into your relationship!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann

2 thoughts on “3 Easy Ways to Heat Up Your Relationship as the Kids Get Back to School

  1. Elle says:

    I like all the suggestions except one. The thought of more people making the relationship the priority in life can’t do anything but make things fall into place more often. What I don’t like and can’t see me doing is scheduling time. Time is an energy that opportunity. I believe it better if folk take time when the opportunity arrives. In relationships the opportunity arrives all day long. It may be you holding hands at that school function with the kids. I may be that chance to smile at your mate while in the midst of others. That appointment on the calander is more like a task that I may wish that I had not committed myself to. Or something to look forward to. Most often it’s a task than a reward. Any way that schedule thing is just not fitting into the scheme of things.

  2. Dr.Patty Ann says:

    Hi Elle,
    Thank you for your comment. It is my professional belief -and I’ve seen this played out over and over again throughout the years – is that if we don’t schedule time for our relationship – we never have the time, but I totally respect your opinion!
    Dr. Patty Ann

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